Keegan Lenker's Musings....

Why Intergen Ministry Anyway?

What’s the Point of Intergenerational Ministry Anyway?

In recent days in my office, there has been an influx of interest from other ministries and friends around the country who have entered into a desire to not only understand but begin to implement a mindset of Intergenerational and Family Based Ministry approaches. While I in no way profess to have all the answers to this, I’m excited about some of the changes and hopes we have in our particular context both now and into the future. Here's a few answers to some questions I've been getting recently.

Have you always emphasized InterGenMin in your ministry?

I haven't emphasized this until really the last 2 years. I felt I didn't fully understand what it meant until I began to focus, learn, and surround myself with people and literature that could help. As I learn more, I realize the complexity of Intergen ministry and see there is always something new to learn and process.

What or who inspired you to incorporate InterGenMin into your ministry?

Fuller Youth Institute invited our church to participate in a cohort in 2010 which helped educate and inform us while giving us information to contextualize in our own context what that meant to be an Intergenerational community. We were coached in implementing change of our choosing and supported in the process. Anyone interested in developing this for their own context are invited to check out http://stickyfaith.org/sticky-faith-cohort

What does InterGenMin look like in your ministry now? What are the specific parts that you are very intentional about?

Intergen is a slow process. People don't like change and it takes time and I think it takes even longer in a church context. We have begun to plan and think beyond the confines of programmatic youth ministry. When we calendar we are thinking creatively about how to get people of all ages engaged with us in unique ways. Here's a few examples:

Senior 2 Senior - Our primetime pastor and I have done a Senior 2 Senior event where the senior adults take on the seniors in high school in one on one relationships for their senior year. You can't force connections, but you can make efforts for those connections to take place. This worked for some and not for others. We didn't finish well but had students givens presence by senior adults who feel the need to do more than just pray and give money.

Intergen mission trip - This will be our third year in going on an intergenerational mission trip. Doing this trip so the youth are enmeshed in everything the adults are doing is crucial for relational development. We don't have the youth do their own separate thing. The first two years has brought growth and even helped to gain volunteers of all ages into our ministry.

The next is developing strategies that get parents resourced in doing spiritual formation for students. So many parents feel the church doesn't help in this and we're trying to help resource and think of the family unit in youth ministry rather than just the students. The time spent with youth pastors is unbalanced and out of line. More time can be spent with families so their are receptive to the resourcing we are trying to do.

What are the difficulties with incorporating InterGenMin into a church?

It's imperative you define the difference between multigen and intergen. Most churches with older adults will think they are intergen because they have kids in their church building. When you ask who they invest in they don't even know their names. So, that makes it a multigen church.

An intergen church takes a lot of education. Be willing to talk about the differences with people so they can see the difference. It takes time to educate and a message that needs repeating over and over.

When we did our monthly trainings for mission trips, I reiterated the same message over and over each month. By the time we got to Guatemala, there was still only a handful of adults and students that "got it." The education of it never is over.

What are the benefits of having an InterGenMin Ministry?

It's biblical. The Israelites modeled who they were as a people all the time. They would retell their story at dinner so future generations had an understanding of they were and who they were called to be.

The adage "it takes a village to raise a child" should be heeded in a world where this mentality seems to be disappearing. Especially in church buildings where many students come who have parents that don't attend, having significant followers of Christ who are living it out and investing in these students is crucial to set a model of invitation.

I'm yet to read anywhere where we are called to be the segregated and siloed Body of Christ. I'm convinced the future of youth ministry is dependent upon the ability of the church to educate, teach, model, and live out what the Body of Christ can look like together.

Share one story or example of how you’ve seen InterGenMin play out positively in your church?

From our Senior to Senior ministry, we had one gentleman who had gone on our first mission trip who took to one particular student. As he journeyed with this student he took the time to listen, be present, and speak into this young man's life. This student moved on to college and this man took time to continue investing. This boys life took a dramatic turn when his parents went through a divorce. The man and his wife had ministered in this journey not only with the young man, but with his family so when the brokenness of this family was exposed, they were able to step in and minister as needed. Senior to Senior turned into Family to Family where they continue to journey and share life together.

What are the first steps you recommend for a church wanting to go in this direction?

Find stories where this takes place in your context already. Begin to listen and watch for intergen relationships happen organically and begin to tell those stories to anyone who will listen. When I first got excited about this, my first response was to find 3 stories. When I found those 3 stories, I didn't stop telling them. I told them in any platform I was allowed. Stories motivate and and invite. People begin to wonder if they have what it takes. Since then, numerous other stories have risen up for me to tell.

This process takes time. A very long time. I recently read a book that indicated it takes 2-3 years to get buy in from a church context and and additional 3-5 years to fully implement. When I read that it was discouraging and encouraging at the same time. I don't feel I have to change everything immediately, but can go slowly and peel back the layers to see what additional areas of Intergen are needed in my particular context.

Model this in your home and life. I feel I can’t speak into this honestly until I’m honest about how this plays out in my own marriage and family. We take seriously the statistics that say the primary influence on a child’s spiritual development is the parents. Here’s a few things we do:

Family Meetings – Each Sunday night we gather and speak affirmations into one another’s lives. Our 5 year old and our 2 year old do this as well as we feel it’s important to give them a voice in our home at an early age. (Even though my 2 year appreciates we watched Tangled with her, she still has a voice)

Dinner conversation – Each night we have dinner around the table together (for us that’s about 4 times a week) we share our highs from the day, lows from the day, a mistake we made, (we want our children to understand making mistakes is a way that we grow) and where we saw God at work. This is profoundly deep, but on occasion my wife and I are surprised at what our children absorb and learn.

Nightly routines – Our children have routines each night and one is reading scripture and talking about Christ in ways that hopefully avoid legalistic approaches to talking about Christ, and we are intentional about how we pray over our children. They could repeat that prayer back to us now, but we want the DNA of their spirituality to be Christ and their reactions are Christ first.

The sooner you can get your Senior Pastor on board the better the process can be in your particular context. I constantly hear of churches that struggle because senior pastors haven’t taken the time (because they have other things going on) or just think it might be “the next thing” in youth ministry. Any time your Senior Pastor can give you time where you can explain in healthy way what intergen ministry is, capitalize on that time and be prepared with appropriate information.

Lastly I'd encourage anyone who has a heart for this to begin reading and put your hands on books that can help to educate you even more as you seek to educate others. Here's a few books in my library that are helping to facilitate this process in my own context.

Family Ministry Field Guide - Timothy Paul Jones

Think Orange - Reggie Joiner

Passing on the Faith - Merton Strommen and Richard Hardel

A Theology for Family Ministries - Michael and Michelle Anthony

One Church Four Generations - Gary McIntosh

Sticky Faith  - Kara Powell and Chap Clark

 

A Heartache That Compels

I’ve only been actively involved in full-time youth ministry for about 10 years.  It’s probably fair to say   those that have been involved in some capacity longer than that should be writing this, as they would have a better take and reality.

 Our culture has changed so much in the last decade or so that they have affected our local churches in huge ways. For example, it’s not too uncommon that I take a trip where we’re on a “media fast” that a parent tells me their child won’t go unless they can have their cell phone. Remember when we said we’d call a couple times while we were gone to check in so parents knew we were okay?

As media has increased and students take in more information than we know what to do, Tim Elmore in his book iY Generation notes that students today are the most informed of any generation in history and yet the most emotionally immature.  They don’t know how to deal with this information that comes at them in levels incomprehensible to even me, just a generation before them.

That info has even changed how we approach teaching as well. They can’t pay attention as long and so we have to find creative ways to invite them into participation in the Kingdom of God. I’m not opposed to this at all as I love it, but in just a decade our world has changed in major ways through terrorist threats, devastating earthquakes, tsunamis, political upheaval, wars, and debates over family systems.

Chap Clark in his book Hurt would say that many of the people we help today during ministry have not had what he calls the necessary social capital to help them transition into adulthood in healthy ways. Those people are not just in churches, but everywhere we go. Social capital comes from a mom and a dad that give to their children what they need for this necessary transition.

In fact, doing this in ministry can feel very defeating at times, as it seems each class carries a greater burden into ministry than the one that preceded it. Angry kids, kids with the lowest self-esteem, fear over meeting parents expectations, a demand on grades to get into a “decent” college, and the list goes on and on. These kids go our churches every week.

Sometimes getting one more email or text message can put you on the brink of just wanting to quit and go somewhere else and start over. Yet that won’t do anything but delay what’s coming in the future.

The heartache I feel not just for students, but families, and strangers alike is what compels me to keep going. The depth of love I feel for these lives is addictive to the point that that one email or text could just be the starting point of a deeper relationship or connection to the hope that I have in Jesus.

This all came to a head for me sitting and listening to our Senior Pastor, Scott Daniels' sermon. He hits this head on and I’d recommend it if you’re interested here. (October 16, 2011) He addresses the importance of our role in helping students come to grips with an authority beyond themselves.

Whatever position you are paid or volunteer at, whether it’s in the church or the largest corporation in the world, take heart cause this brokenness is everywhere and we get to be a part of the restoration that Jesus is doing in our world.

As much as our hearts may break at the next news story or text message where you hoped a student wouldn’t make that choice, to the divorce that will spill into so many lives, allow this heartache to compel you where you are to keep going.

You’re loved.

A More Solidified Body of Christ

Over the last couple of years we have been very intentional in our approaches with Mission Trips. Two summers ago we took a trip to Guatemala with 62 people from our church of all ages. Last summer we took a trip with 42 people Nicaragua again with people of all ages.

One of the important components of those trips was to be intentional about our intergenerational connections. I did not realize how difficult this was going to be for us. We have become accustomed to segregation by ages in the church and because of that we do not know how to engage relationally with one another. People tend to think if all ages are in the same space together it is intergenerational in nature. This couldn’t be further from the truth because more often than not none of those ages are usually talking with one another.

In the months leading up to the trips, I would remind the people that we are in this together. I would even say they could get work done faster without the teenagers, but if they would take the time to teach the skills and be present with the teenagers, they would be offering more than just skills in building a park or church office.

After two months I got them to finally split up and sit together. We offered specific questions to get conversation going. About the time we left for the first trip, a few adults believed me and began to interact.

After the first trip life on Sunday mornings began to change. Students would call the names of adults from across the patio and run for a hug. People began to notice this change, even Vic, the general contractor on our work sites both years.

This year Vic couldn’t wait to go to Nicaragua again. He became known that as the guy that would buy ice cream everyday after work for everyone. It was one way he could relate with the kids. We shared small conversations about how great the students were and his deep appreciation for them.

The students fell in love with Vic too. When we came home this summer we were on a final summer trip together and I asked several what they thought about Vic joining our volunteer staff this year. My students thought it was the best idea! The coolest park? Vic is 66.

Over the course of two summers Vic has gotten to know 22 students from our ministry. Sitting down with him and inviting him to share his life with students wasn’t that hard because he’d already told me how great they were. It was affirming for him to be reciprocated appreciation from teenagers.

I’d say the Body of Christ is a bit more solid today than it was 30 days ago. We’re less fragmented today than we were 30 days ago. That’s another step in the right direction.

The St. Francis of Assisi Excuse

Over the last couple of weeks I had the privlilege of doing some work in Nicaragua. It was even greater to have some students from our youth ministry begin to find themselves as they gave their lives away for other people.

One night after dinner I was sitting on my bunk doing some reading when outside my window I heard these 10 students begin one of those organic conversations that make a youth pastor proud. They began to ask the hard questions of why they were there, if giving vitamins to a child makes a difference, whether sifting sand for several hours was portraying the kingdom with all their heart, soul, mind, and strength.

After allowing them to talk for 20 minutes or so, I got up and went to just sit and listen to them in a circle. After listening for another 20 minutes or so, I added my 2 cents worth and one student spoke up about whether or not he should be proclaiming or talking to those watching us while we were there.

I have a lot of respect for St. Francis of Assisi. His love for animals and the environment and even his passion for a living a life of poverty to proclaim the Kingdom of Heaven was upon them. I would argue that he happens to be most noted for his statement, "Preach the Gospel at all times, if necessary, use words." You can see this phrase adorned on posters in many youth rooms, church offices, and his name alone would probably bring that statement to most conversations about him.

I agree with this phrase. In fact, when I heard it in 7th grade, it resonated with me very much. I feel as though it is an invitation to look internally at one's life and discover whether how we live is a reflection of the Good News of Jesus.

I also feel as though this statement can be used as a cop-out. There are times in our lives when proclaiming Jesus with our words is very important. To proclaim the Good News means we we speak of Jesus in what he has done for us and share the culture to which we belong, that being the culture or Kingdom of God.

I'll confess that I have done this in my own life. I've used this phrase and experienced many missed opportunities to advance the Kingdom merely because I wanted my life to speak over my words. I've done this in many ways through the process of my son's cancer journey. I know and fully believe that Christ has done his work in the life of my son. I know that my wife and I have allowed our lives to speak through how we lived in the midst of this journey. Yet I wonder about how much more the Kingdom could advance if I would have been willing to proclaim the work of Christ to those that were watching us.

I don't think this blog is meant to chastise those who feel strongly about living the Good News. In fact, that's where I fall on the spectrum. Yet, I just want to remind us as Christ Followers about the times in which we know we should use our words to advance the Kingdom of God. Many times this comes through the relationships we have formed with those around us.

My passionate student was asking if he should be proclaiming and we had a dialogue about where the Spirit may be leading him in doing so. Any adult in the world would have been proud of what the students did the next day as they were present with people.

Some took to working extra hard to allow their lives to speak more. Others felt it necessary to proclaim the Good News those around them. I think Francis himself would have been proud of both responses with those students in a remote village in Nicaragua.

As Followers of Christ, let's not use Francis' statement as an excuse to not proclaim the Good News in times we know it's necessary. I'd be curious about the advancement results if some of us would do it more. That includes me.

You're loved.

A Story Worth Telling

A Story Worth Telling 

I’m a narrative guy. I think in narrative. I often respond in narrative. I teach in narrative. I look to see how someone else’s narrative helps to shape my own. I obviously think this is why the idea of the Story of God is so intriguing to my own story.

On Wednesday Nights in our student ministry with the high school students we have begun a process call “Storying.” It comes from a book I’m currently reading called Shaped By the Story by Michael Novelli. He also has a website you can check out at www.echothestory.com.

The basic premise is that most people have a grasp on the stories of the Bible or have heard the stories of the Bible at some point in their lives. What is being discovered is that while a lot of people know the Bible Stories as separate stories, they don’t recognize how those stories contribute to the larger Story of God.

Storying is the process of reading these stories in chronological order and creating an experience where students can interact with the stories and begin to see how they weave within the Story of God. There is then opportunity to invite the students to connect that story with their own story and how it shapes their living.

We’re only a couple weeks into this, but there seems to be a new curiosity and energy amongst the students. It’s quite exciting!

One compelling thing I’ve been reading is realizing how the changes in communication affect how we learn and receive information.

According to Novelli and his research on Richard Jensen’s book Orality and the Post-Literate West, there have been 3 main communication eras over time: Oral, Print, and Digital.

The oral communication is what we’ve seen for a long time. Information was passed down through events and stories and that is how people were kept informed. People were taught to think in metaphors.

The print era saw life in linear, analytical, and logical means.  Words and ideas were created through what was read and carried a sort of individualistic application. The inventing of the printing press obviously put this era on the map and significantly changed our ways of receiving communication and the speed in which it is received.

The last era, and the one we’re transitioning into on a more permanent basis is digital communication. Novelli would say that we are currently living in both print and digital, but will experience this transition.

For instance, I had a chat with a student recently that said their kids will probably never know what a textbook is because most students will be receiving information through some means of digital communication such as an iPad, Kindle, Nook, or other form of digital transformation of information.

Yet another way to see this is through the amount of information received. I would guess that many people who lived during WWII would say that they heard about the “Battle of the Bulge” a few weeks after it happened, but students can now watch a bombing on their cell phone minutes after it happened. The speed and means of information transfer is in transition.

Within youth ministry, it’s great to be a part of the challenge of watching communication take shape in how I communicate with students. I’m told I have around 12 minutes with students that they will listen to me. They need to interact and engage with what they hear.

Novelli challenges us to think about the ways we teach and recognize that some of the ways we were taught are now shifting and we need to be willing to try to new things as the church moves ahead.

I see the idea of Storying as one way to put that into practice. When a student hears The Word spoken through concept of Storying, they are being invited to participate in that and are doing in ways that wrestle with both eras of communication they are familiar with.

Watching a student recognize the important of their participation God’s Story is the greatest invitation we can offer them. Whichever way it’s communicated.

 

Defined By Our Situations?

I've had some conversations in the last couple of months that have stuck with me that I feel I need to at least address. The was in a conversation with my wife. 

We were talking about the Kingdom and our responsibility to the marginalized in our world. This is a topic we love to speak about and see as crucial to our understanding of the gospel, but she said something about the concept of homelessness that I really like that I think we all should think about. She said that people aren't homeless, they struggle with homelessness. I'll elaborate momentarily. 

The second conversation was with a friend that expressed frustration with a Sunday School class she attended. When we walked in she was greeted and through the course of her time there, it became apparent that she was one of the few that wasn't married. When others realized this, they immediately got into "the matchmaking game" with her.

She went on to say how frustrating it was that people give off a sense that she isn't complete because she isn't married. I would say that this may happen far too often in the church that we give off a sense that singleness isn't okay or not quite enough. You aren't complete unless you have gotten married. She said that she was perfectly happy being single and being single was only a part of her life, but isn't what defined her as a person. She said, "There is so much more to me than being single." She's right.

For anyone out there reading this that has ever been given that perception or had an experience like that in the church, as a pastor let me be the first to say I'm sorry. 

Concerning the idea of homelessness, my wife expressed that their homelessness isn't what defines them either. That is just one aspect of who they are. There is so much more to a person struggling with homelessness than one aspect of who they are. She's right. Tragically I think society sees their situation and sends a message that that is who they are. Far too often that message is believed by the person who is struggling with it and little is done to help them get out of it. If we are "brave" enough to sit down and share life/conversation with one struggling with this and see past our perceptions, we would quickly see they have a story, family, possibly even a college education. Let's not get caught up in stamping a label on someone and missing the opportunity of being who God has called us to be. 

My problem seems to be on the other side. Allow me to be confessional for a moment. Now that my son has been cancer free for nearly 2.5 years, I'm looking back and seeing how I allowed my son's condition as being a "parent with a child of cancer" to become my identity and forgot there was so much more to my own humanity. I seriously would look for for a window in conversation to "tell my son's story" for the sympathy card rather than look at it as an opportunity to share life with another. A definite wrong motive.

It's nice to realize that being a parent with cancer is only a part of me and there's so much more to who I am than just being that. I know it may sound petty, selfish, and silly, but I write this as a hope that we don't allow one aspect of who we are to define us and not place a definition on someone else and miss their own uniqueness as one created in the image of God. 

You're loved.