Keegan Lenker's Musings....

Why Intergen Ministry Anyway?

What’s the Point of Intergenerational Ministry Anyway?

In recent days in my office, there has been an influx of interest from other ministries and friends around the country who have entered into a desire to not only understand but begin to implement a mindset of Intergenerational and Family Based Ministry approaches. While I in no way profess to have all the answers to this, I’m excited about some of the changes and hopes we have in our particular context both now and into the future. Here's a few answers to some questions I've been getting recently.

Have you always emphasized InterGenMin in your ministry?

I haven't emphasized this until really the last 2 years. I felt I didn't fully understand what it meant until I began to focus, learn, and surround myself with people and literature that could help. As I learn more, I realize the complexity of Intergen ministry and see there is always something new to learn and process.

What or who inspired you to incorporate InterGenMin into your ministry?

Fuller Youth Institute invited our church to participate in a cohort in 2010 which helped educate and inform us while giving us information to contextualize in our own context what that meant to be an Intergenerational community. We were coached in implementing change of our choosing and supported in the process. Anyone interested in developing this for their own context are invited to check out http://stickyfaith.org/sticky-faith-cohort

What does InterGenMin look like in your ministry now? What are the specific parts that you are very intentional about?

Intergen is a slow process. People don't like change and it takes time and I think it takes even longer in a church context. We have begun to plan and think beyond the confines of programmatic youth ministry. When we calendar we are thinking creatively about how to get people of all ages engaged with us in unique ways. Here's a few examples:

Senior 2 Senior - Our primetime pastor and I have done a Senior 2 Senior event where the senior adults take on the seniors in high school in one on one relationships for their senior year. You can't force connections, but you can make efforts for those connections to take place. This worked for some and not for others. We didn't finish well but had students givens presence by senior adults who feel the need to do more than just pray and give money.

Intergen mission trip - This will be our third year in going on an intergenerational mission trip. Doing this trip so the youth are enmeshed in everything the adults are doing is crucial for relational development. We don't have the youth do their own separate thing. The first two years has brought growth and even helped to gain volunteers of all ages into our ministry.

The next is developing strategies that get parents resourced in doing spiritual formation for students. So many parents feel the church doesn't help in this and we're trying to help resource and think of the family unit in youth ministry rather than just the students. The time spent with youth pastors is unbalanced and out of line. More time can be spent with families so their are receptive to the resourcing we are trying to do.

What are the difficulties with incorporating InterGenMin into a church?

It's imperative you define the difference between multigen and intergen. Most churches with older adults will think they are intergen because they have kids in their church building. When you ask who they invest in they don't even know their names. So, that makes it a multigen church.

An intergen church takes a lot of education. Be willing to talk about the differences with people so they can see the difference. It takes time to educate and a message that needs repeating over and over.

When we did our monthly trainings for mission trips, I reiterated the same message over and over each month. By the time we got to Guatemala, there was still only a handful of adults and students that "got it." The education of it never is over.

What are the benefits of having an InterGenMin Ministry?

It's biblical. The Israelites modeled who they were as a people all the time. They would retell their story at dinner so future generations had an understanding of they were and who they were called to be.

The adage "it takes a village to raise a child" should be heeded in a world where this mentality seems to be disappearing. Especially in church buildings where many students come who have parents that don't attend, having significant followers of Christ who are living it out and investing in these students is crucial to set a model of invitation.

I'm yet to read anywhere where we are called to be the segregated and siloed Body of Christ. I'm convinced the future of youth ministry is dependent upon the ability of the church to educate, teach, model, and live out what the Body of Christ can look like together.

Share one story or example of how you’ve seen InterGenMin play out positively in your church?

From our Senior to Senior ministry, we had one gentleman who had gone on our first mission trip who took to one particular student. As he journeyed with this student he took the time to listen, be present, and speak into this young man's life. This student moved on to college and this man took time to continue investing. This boys life took a dramatic turn when his parents went through a divorce. The man and his wife had ministered in this journey not only with the young man, but with his family so when the brokenness of this family was exposed, they were able to step in and minister as needed. Senior to Senior turned into Family to Family where they continue to journey and share life together.

What are the first steps you recommend for a church wanting to go in this direction?

Find stories where this takes place in your context already. Begin to listen and watch for intergen relationships happen organically and begin to tell those stories to anyone who will listen. When I first got excited about this, my first response was to find 3 stories. When I found those 3 stories, I didn't stop telling them. I told them in any platform I was allowed. Stories motivate and and invite. People begin to wonder if they have what it takes. Since then, numerous other stories have risen up for me to tell.

This process takes time. A very long time. I recently read a book that indicated it takes 2-3 years to get buy in from a church context and and additional 3-5 years to fully implement. When I read that it was discouraging and encouraging at the same time. I don't feel I have to change everything immediately, but can go slowly and peel back the layers to see what additional areas of Intergen are needed in my particular context.

Model this in your home and life. I feel I can’t speak into this honestly until I’m honest about how this plays out in my own marriage and family. We take seriously the statistics that say the primary influence on a child’s spiritual development is the parents. Here’s a few things we do:

Family Meetings – Each Sunday night we gather and speak affirmations into one another’s lives. Our 5 year old and our 2 year old do this as well as we feel it’s important to give them a voice in our home at an early age. (Even though my 2 year appreciates we watched Tangled with her, she still has a voice)

Dinner conversation – Each night we have dinner around the table together (for us that’s about 4 times a week) we share our highs from the day, lows from the day, a mistake we made, (we want our children to understand making mistakes is a way that we grow) and where we saw God at work. This is profoundly deep, but on occasion my wife and I are surprised at what our children absorb and learn.

Nightly routines – Our children have routines each night and one is reading scripture and talking about Christ in ways that hopefully avoid legalistic approaches to talking about Christ, and we are intentional about how we pray over our children. They could repeat that prayer back to us now, but we want the DNA of their spirituality to be Christ and their reactions are Christ first.

The sooner you can get your Senior Pastor on board the better the process can be in your particular context. I constantly hear of churches that struggle because senior pastors haven’t taken the time (because they have other things going on) or just think it might be “the next thing” in youth ministry. Any time your Senior Pastor can give you time where you can explain in healthy way what intergen ministry is, capitalize on that time and be prepared with appropriate information.

Lastly I'd encourage anyone who has a heart for this to begin reading and put your hands on books that can help to educate you even more as you seek to educate others. Here's a few books in my library that are helping to facilitate this process in my own context.

Family Ministry Field Guide - Timothy Paul Jones

Think Orange - Reggie Joiner

Passing on the Faith - Merton Strommen and Richard Hardel

A Theology for Family Ministries - Michael and Michelle Anthony

One Church Four Generations - Gary McIntosh

Sticky Faith  - Kara Powell and Chap Clark

 

Kingdom Kids

Ever so often you get recommended a book that you think will be one that will help you be more  efficient or better in what you do for a living and then when you read it, it makes you a better parent. I'm finishing up a book entitled Family Ministry Field Guide by Timothy Paul Jones.

If any of you know me that well I've becomed consumed with intergenerational ministry, resourcing families, and creating partnerships with churches and families for the sake of spiritual formation. In the midst of all the books I'm reading and stories I'm experiencing, my life is changing as I think about how that affects me as a husband, father, and pastor. (in that order)

One particular chapter significantly captured my attention. To sum it up quickly it began to challenge parents as what it would look like if we began to look at our children as partners in the Kingdom of God. In that partnership your role as a parent isn't taken away, but you are dreaming for thier lives what it would mean if you invited them into the Kingdom life alongside you and pointed out the times you saw the Kingdom play out for them. I began to day dream what this would look like for me and then this happened:

We've been finishing up an Advent booklet together as a famiy and walked together through the journey of advent and then into the days of Christmas following. The other day (right after reading this chapter) the challenge was to pray for those in your life you know are sick and then do something for them to let them know they are loved. We listed off several names and each took a turn praying for many in our lives struggling with cancer, recent deaths, or who are hurting in some way. (PS to hear a 5 year old or 2 year old call out to God people by name is a faith booster in itself)

I mentioned it may be a good idea for the kids to draw a picture of someone they prayed for. My son thought it meant right now. He grabbed a piece a paper and began to draw and then said we should send some money to them to help them. I mentioned food and then he said he wanted to give his own money. He drew a picture of a manger scene, wrote down he prayed for a lady who is battling leukemia in our church, and then handed me two pennies to send to her. There I found the kingdom. There I found an opportunity to tell him it was alive in him.

I spent 2 minutes explaining how amazing it was that he was thinking of others. I mentioned it was so amazing that he took the time to pray and then tried to validate him by saying the Kingdom of alive in him. I know he's 5, I know he may not grasp everything about the kingdom, but 5 minutes together as a family may make a huge difference.

Each night when we pray over our kids we pray, "God help us to remember we belong to you and help us to learn to love you with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength and to be an example of what love looks like in this world."

When we look at our kids as more than just our kids, but partners in the kingdom, it elevates our own understanding of the Kingdom of God.

You're loved.

 

Becoming "Bilingual"

I've recently been working through Kenda Creasy Dean's "Almost Christian." It's a fantastic read on the realities of the faith of students. What's humbling about it is it tells us that students are learning this type of faith from adults around them. 

I think at this point it is easy to play the finger-pointing game and look at all the reasons why we aren't personally responsible for this or we can look internally and see how we have contributed to this. 

In an effort of humble honesty, I'd like keep the finger pointed at me and share how I feel I've contributed to this mess as a youth pastor:

It's easy to get caught up in a style of youth ministry where you keep the expectations low. It's easy for me to plan mid-week kind of stuff (what I call Old School YM) where we "play games, sing a few songs, and have a quick proof-texted devo," and dismiss. Quite frankly, it's the easy way out as far as planning is concerned and helps to feed into an entertainment-based ministry that the world offers. 

I've often planned calendar events around the entertainment value. I think these may have a place in ministry in a balanced setting, but when they become the sole element of what we do, we're abusive of Reggie Joiner's statement that "we have only 40 hours of influence a year with a student as youth pastor's while parents have over 3,000 hours of influence." 

I've been more concerned with giving them information about Jesus week in and week out and not allowing them to experience the Jesus they already know. If I've honest with myself and many in the youth min world reading this, our egos are often filled by that funny story that made them laugh that had nothing to do with the teaching or the affirmation of what parents may see we are doing that fits into their expectations of us and maybe not the expectations God has for using us in the context we are currently serving. 

As guilty as I feel for feeding the apathy of teenagers' faith, I also feel as though we maybe need to learn to speak appropriate languages when it comes to the church and culture. 

Somehow in my context there is feeling of separateness between what students experience at youth group and what they experience on a daily basis in their everyday world. 

A high percentage of our students would say that faith, God, and Christ are important at some level in their lives and it has its time and place to speak into their lives. (Moralistic Therapeutic Deism) Yet I don't feel as though the language we're speaking into their lives in our community is a language completely different than the language they are speaking in their everyday living. 

For example, speaking of grace and loving God is great, but how are we helping them to understand that in a world where facebook, Black Ops, texting, success in school at any cost, Friday's party, and how much ecstasy they'll drop at the next rave dominate their thinking? 

We in the church have got to learn how to speak the language of faith into this culture and be informed by what the culture is saying and learn to ask the right questions. Some of the things we do and say is merely a validation to what they are questioning. 

Becoming bilingual means we've got to speak both languages well, but not continue showing them that God is just a vending machine we can tap into, but that God wants to not just be a good teacher, but Lord of our lives. To hear a great sermon on this concept, click here and click on November 21st. 

One person that speaks well into this idea of a common faith language is Steve Argue who is on staff at Mars Hill in Grand Rapids. He did a teaching you can listen from the Fuller Youth Institute Website found here. 

As we become a bilingual people, I believe we become more missional. The times I have had the most meaningful times with students are the times where a greater experience is created for students to participate what they are hearing. Alas, it's more work and the default of "Old School YM" make take it's place. 

Perhaps our reasons on this default is there are too many things in our lives which distract us from being all we can be in our calling. May God help us to become a bilingual people effectively moving forward His Kingdom Cause. 

You're loved.

Giving and Faith? A Sensitive Topic

I had one of "those" conversations a few weeks ago that got me thinking. Of of those conversations that left me with a big, "I don't know," but has got me wondering about how applicable it could be to discussions on faith integration within the family and intergenerationally. 

I've had the opportunity to preach recently on topics of intergenerational concepts within the local church and our pastor is currently plowing through a series on the idea of "Almost Christian." (you can find those sermons here)

The conversation I had was with a gentleman that I got to know this summer on an Intergenerational Mission Trip to Guatemala where 60 of us (15 of whom were youth) worked intentionally together for 2 weeks. Coming out of this came a relationship of mutual respect for the gifts we both offered to the experience. 

As we sat down, he was recalling some of the intergenerational ideas he'd been hearing and whether there was any research on whether the faith of students was in any way linked whether their parents were active tithing people. I was fascinated by this idea and really had nothing to offer. 

He then pulled out his list of scripture that has gotten him thinking. What follows are only a few of the passages of scripture that made him think there may be a relationship between the two: 

Deuteronomy 8:11-18 - To highlight a few snippets of this: "Be careful that you do not forget the LORD........." "You may say to yourself, 'My power and the strength of my hands have produced this wealth for me.' But remember the LORD your God, for it is he who gives you the ability to produce wealth, and so confirms his covenant, which he swore to our forefathers, as it is today."

Deuteronomy 26:1-11 - Yet another idea. 

His summary was: The tithe is not a gift, it is returning to God that which he has loaned to us. 

Leviticus 27:30-32 - Again a snippet, "A tithe of everything from the land, whether grain from the soil or fruit form the trees, belongs to the LORD; it is holy to the LORD." 

His summary: The tithe is a tool, designed by God to teach us to revere Him always.

As this is only a few passages from many he listed, he continued to use language of tithe as a remembrance of who we are and to whom we belong. He then proceeded to share stories from his own experience in life of his children and their journey's and how the model of tithe within their home set a standard that eventually led one of his children back to the faith. 

One of his main questions to me was, "If there is in any way that tithing firstfruits back to God provides a greater chance of a faith that sticks, how many parents would be willing to sacrifice their firstfruits back to God? 

Wow was the only place my mind went. As he was using the language of remembrance, I kept thinking about the celebration of the Eucharist we all as Followers share in on a regular basis. One of the essences of Eucharist is the idea that we remember to whom we belong. 

From my own experience, the model I received in my home was very similar. My father always talked as if everything belonged to Him and my parents faithfully gave their firstfruits back to God because it was all His to begin with. 

There was never really a doubt in my own experience that this was something I would do because there was a sense that, "This is who we are as Followers." 

So I leave this blog post with a question: "what from your experience can shed light into this topic and and do any of you know of any research that lends to the idea of Giving and a faith that sticks?

You're loved.

Still Got Me Thinking.......

For those of you that are familiar with the Strengths Finder information and establishing your Top 5 strengths, one of my 5 happens to be Learner. 

That basically means I enjoy taking in information and gaining knowledge from a particular subject and become competent in it. 

I recently came across some statistics that have blown me away and grind on my Learner personality. 

"58% of the US adult population never reads another book after high school."

"42% of college grads never read another book."

"57% of new books aren't read to completion." 

"Most readers don't get past page 18 in a book they've purchased." 

(http://BookStatistics.com)

For someone who is a learner, I guess part of my job is to help spread the word of some great information out there to help us become a better community of humanity. So here's what I've been reading and learning lately. 

I'm currently in a fantastic book called "Think Orange" by Reggie Joiner. Reggie is the CEO of reThink and used to be on staff with Andy Stanley in Atlanta, Georgia. 

This book looks into the concept of combining forces to become a more effective Body of Christ together. The part that has interested me most thus far is a chapter dealing with family structures and their need for the church and the churches need to work alongside these families. There are a few suggestions that Reggie offers (though not comprehensive) that I will share and then comment on. 

#1 - What matters more than anything is that my kids have an authentic relationship with God.

On some level this is a no brainer for Followers of Jesus, yet sometimes gets lost in the competing "things" that are available to our kids; especially in North America. (I'll let you create your own list)

Joiner takes a chance by saying to us parents, "When it comes the battle for the heart, what is temporary has a way of crowding out what is eternal." As parents, one our sole responsibilities is to fight for the hearts of our children. He then goes on to say, "When it comes to trust, trusting our kids isn't nearly as important as being trustworthy to our kids."

I'll be honest, I sometimes act like I can raise my kids better than I think God can. Part of this comes in how parenting was modeled to me. In fact, I think I've benefited in great ways by how I was parented. For me to think that I can do a better job than God is ridiculous, so I've got to learn to point my kids to Jesus as we grow together and fight for their hearts. 

This often terrifies parents cause many have no idea how to fight for the hearts of their kids. I'd suggest we start being real with them. God has equipped you to be an amazing parent. He believes in you. Start having spiritual conversations in your home. Be honest with your own doubts. Let them see and hear where you struggle. It makes you more real and relatable. Don't be afraid to disagree on spiritual matters. You'll find that you'll learn a lot from one another. 

#2 - All my children need to know I will never stop pursuing them or fighting for a right relationship with them. 

This is a continuation of fighting for their hearts. Children don't need their parents to be their best friends, they already have those. Children need their parents to be parents.

Our kids are going to do things that disappoint us. They will talk back. They will participate in activities that make us cringe. The way we can fight for their hearts is by reminding them that your love will never change despite the things they do or the people they become. That's modeling an unconditional love in our homes. It must be shown in our actions and the time we spend with them. 

#3 - My personal relationship with God and with my wife affects them more than I realize. 

Our kids aren't stupid. Especially when they are teenagers they see through the things you think you're hiding from them. They are watching how you live and how it lines up with what you say. 

I know a student that has said to me, "Keegz, I'm not sure which Jesus to believe in. My mom says she follows the same Jesus that you do. You guys live two totally different lives. I'm not sure who is the real Jesus, but I'm compelled by the one you tell me that loves me."

What we believe is a reflection of how live. That is a wonderful and scary thing all at the same time. 

Our kids need to see us work out our differences in our marriages. They need to see us expressing affection and love. If we claim to follow Jesus, our actions must be a reflection of the words we say or we are at risk of confusing the message of Jesus. 

#4 - Just being together can never substitute for interacting together in a healthy way.

Sitting in the same room watching a movie together is being together. Sitting in the same sharing life, playing a game, or having conversation is interacting together. 

Each day as we sit down for dinner, as a family we ask 4 questions: What was your high? What was low? Where did you see God at work today? What mistake did you make today? I'd like to say I thought of this, but I stole it from a friend. My 4 year old looks forward to this every night and it gives us a chance to share about day and yet be free to share the areas of our lives we make mistakes. 

#5 - A mother and father are not the only adult influences my children need. 

We all probably can do this better. In a world teaching us to live in fear and be skeptical of everyone, I've discovered that most people are wonderful. It's the few in the world that aren't that the media portrays and teaches us to be fearful of. 

I've got to trust other adults in the lives of my kids to help shape and form them and fight for their hearts as well. This is where the church can step up. Chap Clark says we need 5 adults for every student out there to help increase their chances of staying in the church when they graduate. 

I need to trust the community I am a part of do that for me and also be available to be that for others who have kids that need me. Last time I checked the body of Christ was exactly that, the Body. 

Last quote from Joiner, "What I give to my children or what I do for my children is not as important as what I leave them." 

You're loved.

A Story Worth Telling

A Story Worth Telling 

I’m a narrative guy. I think in narrative. I often respond in narrative. I teach in narrative. I look to see how someone else’s narrative helps to shape my own. I obviously think this is why the idea of the Story of God is so intriguing to my own story.

On Wednesday Nights in our student ministry with the high school students we have begun a process call “Storying.” It comes from a book I’m currently reading called Shaped By the Story by Michael Novelli. He also has a website you can check out at www.echothestory.com.

The basic premise is that most people have a grasp on the stories of the Bible or have heard the stories of the Bible at some point in their lives. What is being discovered is that while a lot of people know the Bible Stories as separate stories, they don’t recognize how those stories contribute to the larger Story of God.

Storying is the process of reading these stories in chronological order and creating an experience where students can interact with the stories and begin to see how they weave within the Story of God. There is then opportunity to invite the students to connect that story with their own story and how it shapes their living.

We’re only a couple weeks into this, but there seems to be a new curiosity and energy amongst the students. It’s quite exciting!

One compelling thing I’ve been reading is realizing how the changes in communication affect how we learn and receive information.

According to Novelli and his research on Richard Jensen’s book Orality and the Post-Literate West, there have been 3 main communication eras over time: Oral, Print, and Digital.

The oral communication is what we’ve seen for a long time. Information was passed down through events and stories and that is how people were kept informed. People were taught to think in metaphors.

The print era saw life in linear, analytical, and logical means.  Words and ideas were created through what was read and carried a sort of individualistic application. The inventing of the printing press obviously put this era on the map and significantly changed our ways of receiving communication and the speed in which it is received.

The last era, and the one we’re transitioning into on a more permanent basis is digital communication. Novelli would say that we are currently living in both print and digital, but will experience this transition.

For instance, I had a chat with a student recently that said their kids will probably never know what a textbook is because most students will be receiving information through some means of digital communication such as an iPad, Kindle, Nook, or other form of digital transformation of information.

Yet another way to see this is through the amount of information received. I would guess that many people who lived during WWII would say that they heard about the “Battle of the Bulge” a few weeks after it happened, but students can now watch a bombing on their cell phone minutes after it happened. The speed and means of information transfer is in transition.

Within youth ministry, it’s great to be a part of the challenge of watching communication take shape in how I communicate with students. I’m told I have around 12 minutes with students that they will listen to me. They need to interact and engage with what they hear.

Novelli challenges us to think about the ways we teach and recognize that some of the ways we were taught are now shifting and we need to be willing to try to new things as the church moves ahead.

I see the idea of Storying as one way to put that into practice. When a student hears The Word spoken through concept of Storying, they are being invited to participate in that and are doing in ways that wrestle with both eras of communication they are familiar with.

Watching a student recognize the important of their participation God’s Story is the greatest invitation we can offer them. Whichever way it’s communicated.

 

Tough to Swallow

 One of my newfound passions recently has to do with how to help parents take the ownership of the spiritual development of their kids. 

I think one of the tragedies of youth ministry is that the idea of a "Youth Pastor" carries a lot of baggage in expectation on the part of parents, colleagues, and the youth. That title places the person in the "Camp of Limitation" as what a youth pastor can be responsible for. 

A very high percentage of youth, when they leave home, will say the greatest influence on their faith was their parents. This is exciting and extremely terrifying news for a parent to read as most parents would say it was their friends, youth pastor, etc. They may even feel a bit relieved that their kids attend where there is a "paid, youth professional" so that's their job to grow their kids up in their salvation.

As a youth pastor enters into the realm of helping a parent be a spiritual leader to their kids, for some reason, it's difficult for the youth pastor to be looked upon to the be the person that can help. 

Below is a link to a blog I read today by a man named Scott Linscott. His blog may be hard to read as a parent, but I think a great wake up call as we think about helping our kids become deep, passionate, followers of Christ. 

http://scottlinscott.wordpress.com/2010/03/10/your-kids-an-all-star-wow-someday-hell-be-average-like-the-rest-of-us/

I know this won't be easy to read, but I'd love to dialogue with some of you that would love to be more to the development of faith for you kids.