Why I Got Rid of My iPad 2

As many other people last week, I was greatly anticipating the arrival of the iPad 2. In fact, I found  myself in one of those lines in Pasadena a few hours before the actual release. While standing there in line my brother-in-law made it known that we were in line with a serious amount of nerds. I could hardly argue with him until I realized that I had become one of those nerds.

As I stood there at roughly the 230^th spot in line which mind you wrapped around the corner and the end of the block, I began to wait and listen to those around me discussing whether we would get the product we so hastily worshiped in some way or another. Colors, specs, covers, predictions, etc were all common conversations for the course of my what would be a four-hour experience.

Yet even as I stood there there existed a feeling of discomfort that had settled over me a few days before that I couldn’t seem to shake. An inner voice that began to speak that I attempted to justify as I thought about how I’d saved for months in anticipation of this glorious day.

Roughly three hours after I got in line I received an infamous ticket informing me of the fact I was guaranteed an iPad 2, but no guarantee of the one I wanted.  Might I add I was racing time cause my son had a pre-school performance that night at 7 and it was now 6:15pm.

Alas, I got into the store and quickly shouted out I wanted the black 32 GB Wi-Fi and a red cover to go with it. Without much hesitation I whipped out my credit card and signed as feverishly as I could to hit the exit running for the car for my son’s big moment singing “O Susanna.” The inner voice kept speaking.

After his performance I ended up hanging with a bunch of my students for some games in our youth room and then the inner voice took on flesh. It came in the voice of one of my Juniors. “Keegz, you’ve a Macbook and you’ve got an iPhone, why do you need an iPad?” Deep within me rose a spirit of defensiveness as I rattled off some excuse of my “need” for it in my continuing grad work. It was in that moment I needed come to grips with the truth being spoken by one of my students. One of those in being the difference between need and want.

I went home and did what most (at least men) do when they get their newest tech toy. I opened it as fast as I could and caressed her in her beauty and plugged it in and began setting up every free app I was convinced I couldn’t live without. All things around me went blurry as this new possession began to own me.

I was going to use this primarily for my grad work and e-books for the schooling, but quickly found out that the search engine isn’t offered by the program I use in my studies so I found another reason I didn’t need it.

I went to bed and couldn’t fall asleep as I wrestled now with whether or not I could practice what I preach. In fact I’m not sure it was a coincidence the release happened 2 days after Lent began.

The next day I had a meeting and when it was over I headed home. I began to really listen with the inner voice and speak how I wanted to do the right thing for me and now had to wrestle with whether or not I would. I knew what I needed to do. I needed to take it back.

I gave up the radio in my car for Lent and got lost in my thoughts. I found myself (somehow) in downtown LA. So I did what I usually do when I need affirmation or talk through a decision I've been debating. I called my wife. She affirmed my thinking and I knew she would.

Rather than debating if I should take it on vacation this week to “see if I would really use it,” I decided in that moment to rid myself of something that in just a few months had taken possession of me in ways I apparently was blinded by.

The mind is a powerful thing. I’m not sure we recognize it too often. I think we often blame sin on our actions when in reality we commit the sin in our minds first and convince ourselves that what we are about to do is okay.

The reverse is true as well. When we convince ourselves in our minds of what the right thing to do is, often there is nothing that will stop us from doing that either.

At this point in downtown LA, the least thing I wanted now in my possession was the iPad or anything tied to it cause I wanted to be free of it.

If you own an iPad 2 and love it, I think it’s great. I hope you have many years of happy lives together. I think this blog happens to really be about the things or people in our lives that take away and distract from deeper things going on in our spirituality. For me it happened to be an iPad 2. For you it may be something different.

This week I’m enjoying vacation with my family and feel as though one small distraction in my life has been taken away from me and I can be a better dad and husband. In fact, I think the friend that really wanted one who was in the car when I was on my way to return it is enjoying the ipad she ended up buying from me.

She didn’t even have to way 4 hours in line either.

You’re loved.

Comments

[Wendy]

You're my hero! Great job.

[Michelle]

Thanks for being real! I think we all have our "Ipad 2's". I applaud your obedience. Have a great break!

[Nike shox]

You're fantastic! Just like my idol oh I love your luo.........

[Roland tedder]

Hey Keegan,

We were at CSM San Fran together a couple of Years ago. I was with the Idaho group. I randomly saw your tweet on the NYC feed. Great post. Makes me take a step back and think about what I think I need.

Roland