When I was doing my undergrad work, one of the first classes I took was on a Monday ight at 7pm. It was a class designed for young, energetic, know it all 18 yr olds to discern if a call to ministry was really what they wanted to do.
While that class helped me to affirm the call that God had placed on my life, there was something that was crucial I heard that has stuck out to me all of these years, “Your spouse can make or break your ministry.” While my wife and I aren’t the types at all to splash social media with praise for one another, this blog seeks to highlight the strengthening of ministry when your spouse is on board.
Foundation of Confidence in the Midst of Insecurity
To be in ministry is to always find yourself in some posture of insecurity. I don’t think that is a bad thing. I think recognizing where your insecurities lie provide space for growth. Having a spouse that is deeply connected to the things of God, understands my heartbeats as a pastor, and knows my strengths and weaknesses has helped to provide a greater sense of confidence because I know she’s in this with me.
The confidence I can have I know comes because I have a spouse who also recognizes the gifts she can bring alongside me in ministry and can be a gap-filler in areas of my own weaknesses as a leader.
Regularly Eating Humble Pie
Because my spouse knows the ins and outs of what makes me who I am, she has been given permission to speak truth into my life. The only time these words are helpful are when I’m willing to listen and embrace the realities of what is spoken.
When she speaks honesty about myself to me, she does it because she deeply cares about me as a leader and about the church we are called to serve. When I’m willing to receive this and sit in agreement, I again put myself in a posture of growth.
The only way an alcoholic can begin the journey to sobriety is to admit he/she is an alcoholic. As a leader, the same is true of me. If I can embrace the words spoken to me, (the reason I listen to my wife is because I know she deeply connected to Christ) growth and health are now a part of the journey.
Celebrating Your Successes Because of Your Partnership
I know we are in this together. It is important to have a spouse that can formulate his/her own identity in ministry alongside you. They cannot to it all. You and your church community shouldn’t expect that anyway. Yet, more often than not, some of the credit you receive is because of the talents your spouse has either done visually or behind the scenes. Celebrate your spouse regularly.
So much of my success in ministry is due to the realities of my amazing wife Jayme. Many lives have or are being transformed through her because people trust her deep connectedness to Jesus himself.
She now is pursuit of ordination within the Church of the Nazarene as an elder. It’s only right to celebrate her on this journey. Hopefully her future success in ministry can be linked to those powerful words spoken in my first college class, “Your spouse will make or break your ministry.”
Here We Go. Together.
You are loved.