Keegan Lenker's Musings....

Why Intergenerational Cannot Be a Christian Fad

For anyone who has been in the church for any period of time, there are certain fads or buzzwords that come along where everyone gets excited and decides to try it out because it will revolutionize your ministry or give you confidence into the new year. They remain popular for a small period of time until the next “new thing” comes along to market.

There is a word making its move in Christian circles that I think has the potential to be a fad or buzzword, but I hope will not be the “next great thing for the church,” but take us back to what it means to be the Body of Christ; intergenerational.

It’s important if you are reading this that you understand the difference between multi-generational and intergenerational. Several communities often think they have an intergenerational community because people of all different ages are in the same area together. When you walk into these places what you often see is yes, in fact there are people of all ages, but none of them are talking or interacting with one another. That makes it multi-generational.

While there are several ways to begin understanding what an intergenerational community looks like, one of the biggest things you will often find is that people of all ages are sharing life in different ways and in different spaces together. It may be in a mission trip geared for all ages, youth and children’s events where families are participating together, and small groups or Sunday school classes with families or people of all ages studying the Word together just to name a few.

I would move that intergenerational approaches to ministry encompass partnership with families to help motivate and encourage parents or guardians to see themselves as the primary models of spiritual formation. Yet that also includes inviting the children to speak into the lives of parents or guardians as well.

This even takes on life when investments are made in older generations in our congregations to see themselves as vital contributors as well. An intergenerational church does it part when they are inviting older generations into unique roles with families, kids, babies, college students, and youth that it extends beyond just asking them for prayer and money.

If there is one thing that I believe that can help keep intergenerational from just being the next fad or buzzword in Christian circles, it’s a deep commitment to the time it will take to communicate, educate, and walk alongside people to whom this involves. That’d be all of us. Something I recently read said you can’t think of this in terms of days or months, but several years. When we think about it in those ways, it’s possible we’ll live through 2-3 new Christian fads that “every church needs to try now.”

God help us to be reflections of this and be reminded that it’s by your Spirit and in you alone where transformation is made possible. We’re merely vessels in that journey.

You’re loved.

Kingdom Kids

Ever so often you get recommended a book that you think will be one that will help you be more  efficient or better in what you do for a living and then when you read it, it makes you a better parent. I'm finishing up a book entitled Family Ministry Field Guide by Timothy Paul Jones.

If any of you know me that well I've becomed consumed with intergenerational ministry, resourcing families, and creating partnerships with churches and families for the sake of spiritual formation. In the midst of all the books I'm reading and stories I'm experiencing, my life is changing as I think about how that affects me as a husband, father, and pastor. (in that order)

One particular chapter significantly captured my attention. To sum it up quickly it began to challenge parents as what it would look like if we began to look at our children as partners in the Kingdom of God. In that partnership your role as a parent isn't taken away, but you are dreaming for thier lives what it would mean if you invited them into the Kingdom life alongside you and pointed out the times you saw the Kingdom play out for them. I began to day dream what this would look like for me and then this happened:

We've been finishing up an Advent booklet together as a famiy and walked together through the journey of advent and then into the days of Christmas following. The other day (right after reading this chapter) the challenge was to pray for those in your life you know are sick and then do something for them to let them know they are loved. We listed off several names and each took a turn praying for many in our lives struggling with cancer, recent deaths, or who are hurting in some way. (PS to hear a 5 year old or 2 year old call out to God people by name is a faith booster in itself)

I mentioned it may be a good idea for the kids to draw a picture of someone they prayed for. My son thought it meant right now. He grabbed a piece a paper and began to draw and then said we should send some money to them to help them. I mentioned food and then he said he wanted to give his own money. He drew a picture of a manger scene, wrote down he prayed for a lady who is battling leukemia in our church, and then handed me two pennies to send to her. There I found the kingdom. There I found an opportunity to tell him it was alive in him.

I spent 2 minutes explaining how amazing it was that he was thinking of others. I mentioned it was so amazing that he took the time to pray and then tried to validate him by saying the Kingdom of alive in him. I know he's 5, I know he may not grasp everything about the kingdom, but 5 minutes together as a family may make a huge difference.

Each night when we pray over our kids we pray, "God help us to remember we belong to you and help us to learn to love you with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength and to be an example of what love looks like in this world."

When we look at our kids as more than just our kids, but partners in the kingdom, it elevates our own understanding of the Kingdom of God.

You're loved.

 

A Heartache That Compels

I’ve only been actively involved in full-time youth ministry for about 10 years.  It’s probably fair to say   those that have been involved in some capacity longer than that should be writing this, as they would have a better take and reality.

 Our culture has changed so much in the last decade or so that they have affected our local churches in huge ways. For example, it’s not too uncommon that I take a trip where we’re on a “media fast” that a parent tells me their child won’t go unless they can have their cell phone. Remember when we said we’d call a couple times while we were gone to check in so parents knew we were okay?

As media has increased and students take in more information than we know what to do, Tim Elmore in his book iY Generation notes that students today are the most informed of any generation in history and yet the most emotionally immature.  They don’t know how to deal with this information that comes at them in levels incomprehensible to even me, just a generation before them.

That info has even changed how we approach teaching as well. They can’t pay attention as long and so we have to find creative ways to invite them into participation in the Kingdom of God. I’m not opposed to this at all as I love it, but in just a decade our world has changed in major ways through terrorist threats, devastating earthquakes, tsunamis, political upheaval, wars, and debates over family systems.

Chap Clark in his book Hurt would say that many of the people we help today during ministry have not had what he calls the necessary social capital to help them transition into adulthood in healthy ways. Those people are not just in churches, but everywhere we go. Social capital comes from a mom and a dad that give to their children what they need for this necessary transition.

In fact, doing this in ministry can feel very defeating at times, as it seems each class carries a greater burden into ministry than the one that preceded it. Angry kids, kids with the lowest self-esteem, fear over meeting parents expectations, a demand on grades to get into a “decent” college, and the list goes on and on. These kids go our churches every week.

Sometimes getting one more email or text message can put you on the brink of just wanting to quit and go somewhere else and start over. Yet that won’t do anything but delay what’s coming in the future.

The heartache I feel not just for students, but families, and strangers alike is what compels me to keep going. The depth of love I feel for these lives is addictive to the point that that one email or text could just be the starting point of a deeper relationship or connection to the hope that I have in Jesus.

This all came to a head for me sitting and listening to our Senior Pastor, Scott Daniels' sermon. He hits this head on and I’d recommend it if you’re interested here. (October 16, 2011) He addresses the importance of our role in helping students come to grips with an authority beyond themselves.

Whatever position you are paid or volunteer at, whether it’s in the church or the largest corporation in the world, take heart cause this brokenness is everywhere and we get to be a part of the restoration that Jesus is doing in our world.

As much as our hearts may break at the next news story or text message where you hoped a student wouldn’t make that choice, to the divorce that will spill into so many lives, allow this heartache to compel you where you are to keep going.

You’re loved.

A More Solidified Body of Christ

Over the last couple of years we have been very intentional in our approaches with Mission Trips. Two summers ago we took a trip to Guatemala with 62 people from our church of all ages. Last summer we took a trip with 42 people Nicaragua again with people of all ages.

One of the important components of those trips was to be intentional about our intergenerational connections. I did not realize how difficult this was going to be for us. We have become accustomed to segregation by ages in the church and because of that we do not know how to engage relationally with one another. People tend to think if all ages are in the same space together it is intergenerational in nature. This couldn’t be further from the truth because more often than not none of those ages are usually talking with one another.

In the months leading up to the trips, I would remind the people that we are in this together. I would even say they could get work done faster without the teenagers, but if they would take the time to teach the skills and be present with the teenagers, they would be offering more than just skills in building a park or church office.

After two months I got them to finally split up and sit together. We offered specific questions to get conversation going. About the time we left for the first trip, a few adults believed me and began to interact.

After the first trip life on Sunday mornings began to change. Students would call the names of adults from across the patio and run for a hug. People began to notice this change, even Vic, the general contractor on our work sites both years.

This year Vic couldn’t wait to go to Nicaragua again. He became known that as the guy that would buy ice cream everyday after work for everyone. It was one way he could relate with the kids. We shared small conversations about how great the students were and his deep appreciation for them.

The students fell in love with Vic too. When we came home this summer we were on a final summer trip together and I asked several what they thought about Vic joining our volunteer staff this year. My students thought it was the best idea! The coolest park? Vic is 66.

Over the course of two summers Vic has gotten to know 22 students from our ministry. Sitting down with him and inviting him to share his life with students wasn’t that hard because he’d already told me how great they were. It was affirming for him to be reciprocated appreciation from teenagers.

I’d say the Body of Christ is a bit more solid today than it was 30 days ago. We’re less fragmented today than we were 30 days ago. That’s another step in the right direction.

What's In a Name?

The 2^nd week after I was hired at my current assignment, I had a student come in and I called her by her first name. The look of bewilderment surprised me a bit and then she said, “How did you know my name?” I responded by telling her I’d met her the previous week. She said, “The previous youth pastor here never knew my name and you knew mine after a week.”

This was a small, yet pivotal moment in my development of life and ministry. For some students, perhaps CEO’s, bosses, coaches, teachers, etc., calling someone by name can make all the difference to someone. Perhaps for you, you’ve experienced this first hand. In whatever place you find yourself in, my guess is there is someone that usually sits above you on the totem pole. If that person knows your name or has called you by name, it says something about you.

A great example of this lies in the 2000 movie, “What A Girl Wants.” I think the great story line in this movie is not the main plot, but the sub-plot that exists with Mel Gibson’s character Nick Marshall and a low on the totem pole character named Gigi, played by Lauren Holly, who is just an office hand that is convinced no one ever notices. In the movie, Gibson’s character has the ability to hear what women are thinking. In a few brief interactions, Marshall hears what Gigi is thinking and her desire to noticed and called by name. Eventually it unfolds that Marshall takes action to see to it that Gigi is known and has an identity.

                                                                        

                                                      

My desire to want to be called by name has led me to value the students I have the opportunity to serve and to learn their names. One of my goals in my first year of ministry at this assignment was to learn the names of all the students that called our church home and interacted in some way with the life of our youth ministry. It can be easy in a large church context to come and go and never be noticed. Our staff takes proactive steps to see to it that no one goes unnoticed and can be called by name.

That goal was achieved and when students walked in, they could be called by name. Doing so has created a sense of confidence in their lives when they walk through the doors. For several of these students they spend their days at school wandering around if anyone notices them, the least we can offer them is the gift of calling them by name and in this case, a representation of Jesus.

People around us are crying out to be noticed. For some, your ability to call someone by name can is everything. People have an identity and want to be acknowledged in that way. In your context, how well do make the effort to call those around you by name?

You’re loved.

The St. Francis of Assisi Excuse

Over the last couple of weeks I had the privlilege of doing some work in Nicaragua. It was even greater to have some students from our youth ministry begin to find themselves as they gave their lives away for other people.

One night after dinner I was sitting on my bunk doing some reading when outside my window I heard these 10 students begin one of those organic conversations that make a youth pastor proud. They began to ask the hard questions of why they were there, if giving vitamins to a child makes a difference, whether sifting sand for several hours was portraying the kingdom with all their heart, soul, mind, and strength.

After allowing them to talk for 20 minutes or so, I got up and went to just sit and listen to them in a circle. After listening for another 20 minutes or so, I added my 2 cents worth and one student spoke up about whether or not he should be proclaiming or talking to those watching us while we were there.

I have a lot of respect for St. Francis of Assisi. His love for animals and the environment and even his passion for a living a life of poverty to proclaim the Kingdom of Heaven was upon them. I would argue that he happens to be most noted for his statement, "Preach the Gospel at all times, if necessary, use words." You can see this phrase adorned on posters in many youth rooms, church offices, and his name alone would probably bring that statement to most conversations about him.

I agree with this phrase. In fact, when I heard it in 7th grade, it resonated with me very much. I feel as though it is an invitation to look internally at one's life and discover whether how we live is a reflection of the Good News of Jesus.

I also feel as though this statement can be used as a cop-out. There are times in our lives when proclaiming Jesus with our words is very important. To proclaim the Good News means we we speak of Jesus in what he has done for us and share the culture to which we belong, that being the culture or Kingdom of God.

I'll confess that I have done this in my own life. I've used this phrase and experienced many missed opportunities to advance the Kingdom merely because I wanted my life to speak over my words. I've done this in many ways through the process of my son's cancer journey. I know and fully believe that Christ has done his work in the life of my son. I know that my wife and I have allowed our lives to speak through how we lived in the midst of this journey. Yet I wonder about how much more the Kingdom could advance if I would have been willing to proclaim the work of Christ to those that were watching us.

I don't think this blog is meant to chastise those who feel strongly about living the Good News. In fact, that's where I fall on the spectrum. Yet, I just want to remind us as Christ Followers about the times in which we know we should use our words to advance the Kingdom of God. Many times this comes through the relationships we have formed with those around us.

My passionate student was asking if he should be proclaiming and we had a dialogue about where the Spirit may be leading him in doing so. Any adult in the world would have been proud of what the students did the next day as they were present with people.

Some took to working extra hard to allow their lives to speak more. Others felt it necessary to proclaim the Good News those around them. I think Francis himself would have been proud of both responses with those students in a remote village in Nicaragua.

As Followers of Christ, let's not use Francis' statement as an excuse to not proclaim the Good News in times we know it's necessary. I'd be curious about the advancement results if some of us would do it more. That includes me.

You're loved.

Nicaragua Day #7

The team is currently safe and healthy and the Lord is using the team to meet needs in an amazing way. They have, however, encountered one challenge after another to the point that they are exhausted beyond words but they are doing their best to make thoughtful, savvy, prudent decisions regarding all of their resources. The heat has been scorching, horrendous rain storms with no protection, and the electricity is out at the camp, bug infestations - one challenge after another. 100 people tried to take shelter under a small tin roof yesterday during a terrible storm. Last night they paid a $300 electrician fee for the camp to fix the electricity and they still don’t have electricity.

With the electricity out, the water pump does not work, the kitchen is down and people are not able to shower or have a good meal. She has made the decision to move to a Best Western in Managua for safety and health reasons, however the hotel does not have space until Friday so the team will tough it out until then. At the hotel, they will be 30 minutes from the work points so will travel back and forth each day. People need a shower and a meal as soon as possible.

She is further asking that we mobilize prayer for the release of the container, the health and safety of the team, the release of nutritional products, protection against dehydration and heat exhaustion and the elements. She is hoping the SS classes will mobilize for prayer for the team. The team wants to be found faithful and serving as best they can. They obviously need our prayer and support now.

Nicaragua Day #5

Hi everyone, I'm so sorry that it's taken this long to post as this is the first opportunity I've had to post anything. I'll give you a run down of our situation: We are still without out container. Our container contains some things we need, but we are making due with what we have.

Our first few days saw major thunderstorms and while we were at the worksite, we learned that thin sheet metal can keep you mostly dry. The medical team is making due because some of their supplies are also on the container. It has consisted of eye exams, height and weight of children, basic care until we can get what we need. Our first village is fairly remote from where we are. We have to walk about 1.5 miles to and from the buses because the path is too worn away. After our rain, it turned into some trudging through quite a bit of mud. The work crew is powering through the school and the rain holds that up a bit.

The VBS crew hangs with the children in the Iglesia del Nazareno which consists of a few boards and some sheet metal with a sign. Our camp is quite nice, but we've dealt with some fleas and the bugs and humidity are much more difficult than in Guatemala.

Our parks cannot be built until we get the container which it appears will be tomorrow.The parks crew is ready to built as that proves to be a very visual way to see significant change in a short period of time. We're hoping that we can start on Wednesday.

The group has been amazingly flexible and adjusted well as obstacles arise. There is minimal sickness at this point and we are treating that as needed. We attended a church yesterday with some people here in Tipitapa and it was great! Everyone had a good time and then enjoyed good old Papa John's Pizza for lunch and a bit of shopping.

You can pray for the arrival of the container in our possession as we believe the materials on there are resources God intends for the people of Nicaragua. Pray for health for the members and pray that as we experience the face of Jesus that we can receive the transformation he desires to give to us.

You're loved.

Alive and Well

Hey all, this is Keegan and I've been put in charge of blogging on behalf of the group. We've all arrived safely in Managua and are partaking in the "last supper" at McDonald's before we head to camp.

When getting off the plane and waiting for the bus, the resounding reaction when we began to chew on our air because of the humidity was quite funny. It's definitely stickier than in Guatemala. Overall looks on the faces of those I can see where I'm sitting is one of hunger yet some anticipation for what lies ahead.

While I was driving with David Mimms over here, it was funny to watch him inform the individual who was washing our windows that we weren't going to pay him. He managed to get it into first gear and we moved along. There are people all along the roads selling just about anything to make some money.

There was a young boy about 8 at the airport handing us all little roses he made from leaves from the trees. He was looking for payment and was asking for our clothes. One member commented on his efforts that he'll do anything to feed his family. We'll be leaving here to set up camp and get settled before we hit the ground running tomorrow.

Pray for energy and that everyone will stay hydrated as that could be a problem with this heat index as high as it is. Not sure how often I'll get to post as I won't have internet where we are going, but will try to get communication out as often as I can.

The face of Jesus is found everywhere. Pray we can see him in all we do here.

You're loved.

Alive and Weln

Hey all, this is Keegan and I've been put in charge of blogging on behalf of the group. We've all arrived safely in Managua and are partaking in the "last supper" at McDonald's before we head to camp.

When getting off the plane and waiting for the bus, the resounding reaction when we began to chew on our air because of the humidity was quite funny. It's definitely stickier than in Guatemala.l

Overall looks on the faces of those I can see where I'm sitting is one of hunger yet some anticipation for what lies ahead. While I was driving with David Mimms over here, it was funny to watch him inform the individual who was washing our windows that we weren't going to pay him. He managed to get it into first gear and we moved along.

There are people all along the roads selling just about anything to make some money. There was a young boy about 8 at the airport handing us all little roses he made from leaves from the trees. He was looking for payment and was asking for our clothes. One member commented on his efforts that he'll do anything to feed his family.

We'll be leaving here to set up camp and get settled before we hit the ground running tomorrow.

Pray for energy and that everyone will stay hydrated as that could be a problem with this heat index as high as it is.

Not sure how often I'll get to post as I won't have internet where we are going, but will try to get communication out as often as I can.

The face of Jesus is found everywhere. Pray we can see him in all we do here.

You're loved.

Trust Issues?

I've come to realize in my nearly 10 years of doing YM, I realize and own up to the fact that I'm a control freak when it comes to how things get done. If you're reading this and in charge of a group of people, you are either one yourself or you've figured out how to lead people well.

I've been a late bloomer in just about every area of my life. I'm slow to get it, but eventually I come around and grasp things. I try to be a bit more strategic in some of those approaches, but I feel as though I'm finally starting to learn what it means to lead people.

For the first time ever, I took a retreat with my team of volunteers for 2 days to evaluate everything we are doing in ministry. I just finished four years here and aside from monthly meetings have never done such a thing with my volunteers. We had our ministry covered for the weekend and focused on the specifics together. Before I get into that, I'll tell you how it felt.

I knew this retreat was necessary, but I hated it at first. I like the fact that I've planned everything and run our ministry together with me in the driver's seat the last four years. Deep down I knew in order to lead effectively, I'd need to invite others to take the wheel. It also scared me. It meant I may hear things about what we're doing that need to change and for someone who wears his emotions on his sleeves, this may not be easy to take.

When we don't give our volunteers a voice, we begin to lose them. When I started the retreat by saying we were in this together and their voice was just as valuable as mine, something began to happen with us. As we began to break out into small groups and talk about specific areas, I avoided being a group, but floated to hear the conversation.

I found myself overcome with emotion as I began to realize many of my hopes for the future of YM were happening in those groups without my control. Four years of my own voice yielding to people that have great thoughts on the same thing was equating to a more successful team dreaming together.

We had dialogue about what it meant for us to not just be another team that looks at what everyone else is doing, but to dream into the future of YM and be a team that other churches can look upon because we were in this together and thinking in ways that began to look beyond the confines we place on what a "successful" YM looks like. 

Upon the completion of the weekend we had planned an entire year's events with a volunteer taking ownership of each of those events. We had committed together to some changes that needed to happen within us so we can move forward with students. We came home with a sense that we were in this together and we were no longer a group of people hanging out with teenagers, but a team committed to the Kingdom of God focused specifically with a students.

I come away from something like this more convinced that our job is to work our way of a job and trust those that commit week in and week out to the areas that we lead. All the little things that tend to get put aside when we're in control and can now make us a better because I'm no longer the control freak, but just another team player working in the Kingdom with others.

You're loved.

Youth Ministry and Grocery Story Alarms

A few weeks ago I was running a quick errand to the grocery store. I was purchasing some iTunes gift cards for a mentor group I was leading. After paying for cards and meandering my way to leave the store, I walked by those common strange looking rectangles that sit by the door and instantly an alarm sounded that told everyone in the story a customer was leaving and attention must be paid immediately to what is a concern for everyone.

I looked around and noticed there was no one around me walking in so the alarm was definitely meant for me. I then stopped about steps outside the store, turned around because I figured someone would be looking for my receipt. I walked back in and to my surprise no one was looking and no employee was coming to check my receipt.

I wasn’t too surprised by this, but the fact a loud alarm caused no one to even look told me the effectiveness of this alarm wasn’t doing it’s job for anyone. For some reason I then started thinking about youth ministry and some of the ways we do this too.

There are factors that have shaped the approaches we take in youth ministry. For many of us we have taken on a ministry that reflects a lot of what we saw in youth ministry growing up. Some of us have attended schools that have taught an approach to youth ministry that the school may not have even been comfortable with, but did so because “it’s what always has been done as far as youth ministry is concerned.”

We can’t even hear the alarm

For some of us in youth ministry, there has been an alarm that is sounding for awhile, but we’ve gotten so caught up in our schedules, routines, habits, “to do” lists, and approaches, we’re missing the fact an alarm is meant to get our attention. Yet we aren’t even hearing it.

For some of us we’re just meeting the expectations of what our parents, students, and fellow staff members have of us that we can’t even see the end product of the kind of student that is graduating from our ministries.

Allow me to interject the fact that I’m a very slow learner. It takes me time to “get it.” As I look back on the previous church I was a youth pastor, my heart breaks as I look at the places of many students since I resigned there nearly 4 years ago. Several of them are not even following Jesus or a part of a ministry that helps to foster their faith development. While there are many factors, I have to blame myself for a lot of this. It appears I unintentionally created an idol out of myself.

It was great that I had tangible relationships with many of them and yet several are doing well, but for many of them, it appears I taught them to worship at the feet of their youth pastor rather than the feet of Jesus.

The alarm was sounding and yet it appears I just didn’t hear it because it appeared as if everything was okay or perceived to be. I look back now and there could have been a few things that would improve their spiritual development.

Have a Plan

For me to have put into place a strategic plan of what I would have wanted to see accomplished by my students year to year, I feel as though I would have been working towards a goal that would have given students a better chance at following Jesus upon completion of high school and beyond.

Having a plan in place obviously doesn’t guarantee the success of every student, but that plan would have invited more students into opportunities that would have increased their chance success upon completion of high school.

Spiritual Formation for Families

I feel as though for me to focus more energy on parents as whole is to increase the possibility of the above mentioned plan as a partnership is being created between the church and the family. For me to recognize and encourage, even foster the spiritual formation of families would help the kingdom as a whole. The church has to trust the families and the families must trust the church.

Encouraging relationships outside the ministry

There are untapped relationships with our students that extend beyond our ministries. These relationships hold the natural keys for students to experience the Body of Christ. When these relationships exist, students are formulating more of an experience geared around what it means to be a part of a community. Without a sense of community with the church-wide body, their time is limited with us if we don’t help these relationships. We can’t do it by ourselves.

With this being said, the future of youth ministry is good hands if just listen to what the alarms are saying. I guess a better to ask is, “can you hear the alarm in your youth ministry?” What is it saying?

You’re loved.

Why I Got Rid of My iPad 2

As many other people last week, I was greatly anticipating the arrival of the iPad 2. In fact, I found  myself in one of those lines in Pasadena a few hours before the actual release. While standing there in line my brother-in-law made it known that we were in line with a serious amount of nerds. I could hardly argue with him until I realized that I had become one of those nerds.

As I stood there at roughly the 230^th spot in line which mind you wrapped around the corner and the end of the block, I began to wait and listen to those around me discussing whether we would get the product we so hastily worshiped in some way or another. Colors, specs, covers, predictions, etc were all common conversations for the course of my what would be a four-hour experience.

Yet even as I stood there there existed a feeling of discomfort that had settled over me a few days before that I couldn’t seem to shake. An inner voice that began to speak that I attempted to justify as I thought about how I’d saved for months in anticipation of this glorious day.

Roughly three hours after I got in line I received an infamous ticket informing me of the fact I was guaranteed an iPad 2, but no guarantee of the one I wanted.  Might I add I was racing time cause my son had a pre-school performance that night at 7 and it was now 6:15pm.

Alas, I got into the store and quickly shouted out I wanted the black 32 GB Wi-Fi and a red cover to go with it. Without much hesitation I whipped out my credit card and signed as feverishly as I could to hit the exit running for the car for my son’s big moment singing “O Susanna.” The inner voice kept speaking.

After his performance I ended up hanging with a bunch of my students for some games in our youth room and then the inner voice took on flesh. It came in the voice of one of my Juniors. “Keegz, you’ve a Macbook and you’ve got an iPhone, why do you need an iPad?” Deep within me rose a spirit of defensiveness as I rattled off some excuse of my “need” for it in my continuing grad work. It was in that moment I needed come to grips with the truth being spoken by one of my students. One of those in being the difference between need and want.

I went home and did what most (at least men) do when they get their newest tech toy. I opened it as fast as I could and caressed her in her beauty and plugged it in and began setting up every free app I was convinced I couldn’t live without. All things around me went blurry as this new possession began to own me.

I was going to use this primarily for my grad work and e-books for the schooling, but quickly found out that the search engine isn’t offered by the program I use in my studies so I found another reason I didn’t need it.

I went to bed and couldn’t fall asleep as I wrestled now with whether or not I could practice what I preach. In fact I’m not sure it was a coincidence the release happened 2 days after Lent began.

The next day I had a meeting and when it was over I headed home. I began to really listen with the inner voice and speak how I wanted to do the right thing for me and now had to wrestle with whether or not I would. I knew what I needed to do. I needed to take it back.

I gave up the radio in my car for Lent and got lost in my thoughts. I found myself (somehow) in downtown LA. So I did what I usually do when I need affirmation or talk through a decision I've been debating. I called my wife. She affirmed my thinking and I knew she would.

Rather than debating if I should take it on vacation this week to “see if I would really use it,” I decided in that moment to rid myself of something that in just a few months had taken possession of me in ways I apparently was blinded by.

The mind is a powerful thing. I’m not sure we recognize it too often. I think we often blame sin on our actions when in reality we commit the sin in our minds first and convince ourselves that what we are about to do is okay.

The reverse is true as well. When we convince ourselves in our minds of what the right thing to do is, often there is nothing that will stop us from doing that either.

At this point in downtown LA, the least thing I wanted now in my possession was the iPad or anything tied to it cause I wanted to be free of it.

If you own an iPad 2 and love it, I think it’s great. I hope you have many years of happy lives together. I think this blog happens to really be about the things or people in our lives that take away and distract from deeper things going on in our spirituality. For me it happened to be an iPad 2. For you it may be something different.

This week I’m enjoying vacation with my family and feel as though one small distraction in my life has been taken away from me and I can be a better dad and husband. In fact, I think the friend that really wanted one who was in the car when I was on my way to return it is enjoying the ipad she ended up buying from me.

She didn’t even have to way 4 hours in line either.

You’re loved.

Youth Ministry and Your Family

Doing youth ministry is one of the greatest callings in the world. With that calling must come extreme discipline and sacrifice. To be in youth ministry and not be balanced is to place significant risks in many other areas of your life, especially with your family. 

My first day as a youth pastor on my own following an internship in June 2002 is quite vivid in my memory. I spent the day setting up my office and upon completion of that propped my feet up on my desk and and said, "What do I do now?" I've been behind ever since. 

In doing youth ministry all these years, there's a few things I've come to learn that I'd like to remind my fellow youth workers who have been doing this awhile and for those new to the profession to be aware of:

The last time I looked at my contract it stated that I'm paid for 40 hours per week. Anyone in ministry knows there's an "ish" that follows those hours. We all know that ministry is a demanding job and quite honestly it usually means more than 40 hours per week. My first two years in any position I logged every hour I worked to show how many hours I averaged a week and to put any doubters of "you're never here" to rest.

On slower weeks for me it may mean I put in 35 hours. During most weeks I'm usually in the 40-50 hour range and in the summertime, it can be well into the 70-80 hour week depending on what is going on in our ministry. 

To stay close to the 40 hour week I have had to work really hard at my time in the office and to be efficient while I am there. I get into the occasional conversation that is distracting and can use the excuse of being on facebook too long as "ministry," but I work hard to be productive while I am in the office. 

Little to never do I take my work home. You'll always be behind in ministry and when I get home, my family is the priority. Yes there are times students need us or an emergency comes up, but for most of us that is seldom and when I am home, it's to focus on my family. Let me remind us, family should be our priority. 

I know too many people that have "successful" ministries and everyone in the church loves them, but their own children despise them because they are never home and working too much. Their marriages are masked brokenness. Can we call ourselves successful if we're losing our families for the sake of a successful ministry? 

If we don't care to be present with our families we're limiting our ability to be successful in other areas of our lives. 

Lastly, date your spouse. This has become so hard for us since we've had kids and the demands of ministry have increased, but dating your spouse should never be trumped by an some other event the church deems as more important. We've got to be flexible at times, but we have to renegotiate that time with our spouses. 

The moment your kids say that your job is more important than they are is the moment you need to do an immediate priority shift in your life. 

We need you for the long haul in youth ministry and these are just a few things to ponder for me today and to be reminded of. 

I'm off to my sons baseball practice now.   

You're loved.

Special Needs and Youth Ministry

One of my favorite things about working here at PazNaz is the fact we have a Special Needs Pastor here on staff. Her sole job is to help create a ministry for families with special needs and provide a space where these students are a part of the Body of Christ. She even has a class designed specifically for people that have special needs within our community. I'll be honest, it's one of the ministries I brag about most because it makes such a statement about the inclusion of ALL people. While it's something many of us verbalize, it's the actions that help speak validity into it. 

A big reason a lot of new people attend here is that we have a space for families with kids that have special needs. For some it's such a gift that they can come to worship with the rest of the Body of Christ and feel comfortable there are trained people walking alongside their kids. Yet that has implications for me as a pastor in student ministries.

Because we have a special needs ministry here it means we may have a few more students with special needs that are a part of our youth ministry. Allow me to be confessional for a moment and admit this isn't easy for me. I (like many of you) may just tend to shy away at times from people with special needs out of fear. For me that fear lies in my lack of understanding or education of the person that has a special need. What we don't know we tend to avoid. 

Within our ministry we have students that carry all types of special needs. For many they have a volunteer shadow that walks alongside them through their experience. We have a point person on our youth staff that is aware of most of these students and makes a point to see that each student has a healthy experience within our ministry while they attend. 

No student there has the same condition. Each is a unique person and each deserves the space offered to them alongside their peers. Here's a few things I feel our students have learned in the last few years. 

Each year in October we take an emphasis on a Sunday to highlight our special needs ministry and each department and class has someone that is either a part of the ministry or volunteers to share his/her story of the impact special needs is having in the lives of our students. 

We had one student who is high functioning autism share what the world looks like through his eyes. As he shared his story it was obvious that the students were trying to understand him well. I'll never forget the moment he said, "Just because I talk slower doesn't mean the person behind the voice is invaluable. Come talk to me." We could have closed in prayer right there. Offering the space for students to listen well creates greater understanding for everyone. 

A few weeks ago another one our students with autism was leaving early and in the middle of the teaching expressed he was leaving because he was being baptized that day. The youth room erupted in applause for him and in that moment he was validated as "one of us." In church that day the youth section went crazy after his baptism declaring to the rest of the body present that he is one of us. 

Our adult special needs class recently went to serve at our weekly Church in the Park where 200 homeless are fed. One of the adults was expressing what he learned that day in his experience. While he shared, there was no declaration of his own special need as he expressed the fact the homeless needed loved and fed. 

Out of this we have students that regularly volunteer to shadow these students because they recognize the importance of ALL as a part of the Body of Christ. 

This year in an effort to move closer to them, I'm working alongside our special needs pastor to ask her to help educate me on each particular individual and their need so we can have greater understanding as a volunteer staff of the value of ALL within our student ministry. 

Last weekend we attended a Jr. High Event and one of our special needs students attended. It was amazing to see her reckless abandon to love Jesus openly and express that with other students her age. In fact, that reckless abandon is a model to those that watch her passion for Jesus. Nothing would stop her. There's a great lesson for all of us there.

They continue to teach me regularly. For me to be a pastor to students means I reach out in all ways to uphold the calling placed on my life to see humanity expressed in ways we may be unfamiliar with. It's a part of that calling. The moment we avoid educating ourselves on particular students is the moment we dismiss the very people Jesus died for.

I've sure got a lot learn as I move and grow, but one thing is sure, our special needs students are a gift to youth ministry. Hope they are in your ministry as well. 

If you are ever in the neighborhood in Pasadena, swing by around 5pm on Saturdays and watch our special needs wheelchair bound students play basketball. You'll be changed forever.

You're loved.

A Brief Look Back

I spent the Holidays with my parents in Northern Idaho where I believe Christmas should be spent. I love living in California 50 weeks out of the year, but it’s the two weeks I can be in the snow, trees, and mountains where I think Christmas is Christmas. Then I get to come back to the remaining part of the year where it’s 72 and sunny the rest of winter.

As I look back at this Christmas, there is something that sticks out to me every year that catches me by surprise and teaches or reminds me something new about how I live my life.

My grandpa is in his 80’s and not doing too well these days. He’s in a nursing home and has a hard time being there, but is learning it’s a good fit for him right now. He was a pastor in the Nazarene Church for many years, but he lived a fair distance from us and we didn’t get to spend a lot of time with him.

As you may do in your family, we draw names to see who buys a gift for someone in the family and this year my older brother got my dad’s name. My brother is living his musical dream in Nashville these days and while he may struggle financially, he loves living in his passion, and for him, it’s music through and through.

When it came time for my dad to open the gift from my brother, my brother handed my dad a CD. On the cover my dad probably assumed it was some new music my brother had been working on, but my brother told my dad to read the back.

As my dad flipped it over, he was blown away by what he discovered. A few years ago when I my brother was touring in the Northwest, he stopped by my grandparents house, brewed a pot of coffee, and spent 2 hours recording a conversation with my grandpa about life, ministry, how he met my grandma, his time on Normandy Beach in WWII, etc.

As you may expect my dad was overcome with emotion. My brother got to see his work completed in my dad receiving the gift. Then I said something to lighten the mood as many of us do when we get uncomfortable and briefly ruined a great moment for our family.

While there may be many things to draw from a story like this, here’s what I took from it: What my brother offered to my dad was more than a gift. It was information to sustain my dad on the memory of my grandpa. It was a lot time invested on purpose so that another might be blessed by that time.

As I look back on that moment, it got me thinking about being home and the people in my life where more time may be needed to help sustain them in their everyday lives.

The tragedy for many of us is we wish discipleship could be packaged in our time limits and our clock. The tendency is to go strong for awhile and then fade away as change doesn’t happen the way we think it should. Time is crucial in the process of faith and it means we may need to sacrifice things we see as important to spend time with people that need the gift of presence.

As I’ve looked back and you look forward, it’s my hope that we could be a community that will take the necessary time to be present with people that Jesus himself says deserves the Kingdom as much as we feel we do. 

 

Risky and Experiential

It seems that almost every time I'm in a circle of people giving their lives to youth ministry and students, the conversation seems to turn to how we go about doing that effectively and what needs to change. 

As the conversation progresses, we often find ourselves in agreement that there are changes that need to continue to happen, but when it comes around to being the sacrificial lamb for moving the cause forward, everyone looks at their feet (just like a student does when you ask them to pray) and we probably all fall into the same mindset that there are expectations parents have, boards have, trustees have, elders have, volunteer staff, etc. on what youth ministry is supposed to be. Especially when we have bills at the end of the month and mouths to feed at home. 

There is plenty of changes to discuss  when the phrase "youth ministry" infiltrates our ears. Sometimes that phrase even loses some of its meaning because it is thrown around so much, but I just want to to highlight on a "small risk" that we take in our ministry that begins to break some of those molds or expectations we sometimes default to.

Let me preface this by saying I am a part of a denomination over a 100 years old and there are some "sacred cows" about our tradition just like many of yours. 

My admin and I get together in late November and have an "Advent Station" meeting. We believe the best gift we can give to our students rather than a tangible gift they'll forget about or lose is an experience with the Messiah.

Every year on our final mid-week night for the year, we re-create our youth room around themes or concepts within Advent and give the students free reign for our entire time to be with Jesus. What started as "let's give it shot" 3.5 years ago has turned into a greater partnership with the church as more adults have started to attend. 

For those of you that have had "stations"  before this isn't anything new, but for those that haven't, I'd like to share what these experiences do for the life of our ministry and the church.

We dream up the ideas and usually have about seven stations. This being our 4th time doing this, this year we had stations called, Black Friday, Peace and Good Will, Salt, Light, Take the Time, No Room, and Center. 

We research The Word and explain the theme as the scripture weaves through it and provides an opportunity to experience or participate with what they have just read. 

What's great about nights like this that prove to be so hard is we are required to trust the work of Spirit within each life as they experience God. 

So often as leaders we love to dictate and tell students what they are supposed to learn and let's be honest, we love to have our fingerprint on everything sometimes that we run the risk of snuffing out what the Spirit may be doing in the life of another. 

The only fingerprint we really have is what we write and create and I believe what comes out creatively is a reflection of what God is doing in and amongst us as Immanuel. 

It's great to watch students interact and engage. It's a privilege to pray over them as they walk through the stations. It's even greater to know that God doesn't always need my big mouth to speak into the lives of others. 

Doing stuff like this tends to move away from some of the expectations that others sometimes place on us in youth ministry. It can even invite the criticism to be stereotyped by the many different words being thrown around today. 

I'd like to think that what we do is chipping away at some of the expectations and paving the way for a newer way of thinking about how we invite students to be Followers of the Way. 

Let's continue to come together as the Body of Christ to hold to the truths of the Jesus we follow and yet continue to think in ways that help us grow and step out of "this is how youth ministry should be done." 

On an all-church level it gives greater validity to the youth ministry as people watch and see how things are done differently. On a larger scale each year, we gain greater support from the church as a whole. It helps that our Senior Pastor loves to participate and be in that space alongside our students.

I've got a lot to learn and I believe it's through my brothers and sisters that are taking risks of their own that we can continue to pave avenues in this thing called youth ministry. 

You're loved.

 

Becoming "Bilingual"

I've recently been working through Kenda Creasy Dean's "Almost Christian." It's a fantastic read on the realities of the faith of students. What's humbling about it is it tells us that students are learning this type of faith from adults around them. 

I think at this point it is easy to play the finger-pointing game and look at all the reasons why we aren't personally responsible for this or we can look internally and see how we have contributed to this. 

In an effort of humble honesty, I'd like keep the finger pointed at me and share how I feel I've contributed to this mess as a youth pastor:

It's easy to get caught up in a style of youth ministry where you keep the expectations low. It's easy for me to plan mid-week kind of stuff (what I call Old School YM) where we "play games, sing a few songs, and have a quick proof-texted devo," and dismiss. Quite frankly, it's the easy way out as far as planning is concerned and helps to feed into an entertainment-based ministry that the world offers. 

I've often planned calendar events around the entertainment value. I think these may have a place in ministry in a balanced setting, but when they become the sole element of what we do, we're abusive of Reggie Joiner's statement that "we have only 40 hours of influence a year with a student as youth pastor's while parents have over 3,000 hours of influence." 

I've been more concerned with giving them information about Jesus week in and week out and not allowing them to experience the Jesus they already know. If I've honest with myself and many in the youth min world reading this, our egos are often filled by that funny story that made them laugh that had nothing to do with the teaching or the affirmation of what parents may see we are doing that fits into their expectations of us and maybe not the expectations God has for using us in the context we are currently serving. 

As guilty as I feel for feeding the apathy of teenagers' faith, I also feel as though we maybe need to learn to speak appropriate languages when it comes to the church and culture. 

Somehow in my context there is feeling of separateness between what students experience at youth group and what they experience on a daily basis in their everyday world. 

A high percentage of our students would say that faith, God, and Christ are important at some level in their lives and it has its time and place to speak into their lives. (Moralistic Therapeutic Deism) Yet I don't feel as though the language we're speaking into their lives in our community is a language completely different than the language they are speaking in their everyday living. 

For example, speaking of grace and loving God is great, but how are we helping them to understand that in a world where facebook, Black Ops, texting, success in school at any cost, Friday's party, and how much ecstasy they'll drop at the next rave dominate their thinking? 

We in the church have got to learn how to speak the language of faith into this culture and be informed by what the culture is saying and learn to ask the right questions. Some of the things we do and say is merely a validation to what they are questioning. 

Becoming bilingual means we've got to speak both languages well, but not continue showing them that God is just a vending machine we can tap into, but that God wants to not just be a good teacher, but Lord of our lives. To hear a great sermon on this concept, click here and click on November 21st. 

One person that speaks well into this idea of a common faith language is Steve Argue who is on staff at Mars Hill in Grand Rapids. He did a teaching you can listen from the Fuller Youth Institute Website found here. 

As we become a bilingual people, I believe we become more missional. The times I have had the most meaningful times with students are the times where a greater experience is created for students to participate what they are hearing. Alas, it's more work and the default of "Old School YM" make take it's place. 

Perhaps our reasons on this default is there are too many things in our lives which distract us from being all we can be in our calling. May God help us to become a bilingual people effectively moving forward His Kingdom Cause. 

You're loved.

"Fockerized" in Youth Ministry

As youth pastors, we are what I like to be called "fockerized" from all angles. From the movie Meet the Parents, Greg Focker is told he is "being watched" from his girlfriend's father. In youth ministry we're "fockerized" by parents, youth, staff members, board members, and if in a larger church where we don't know everyone, by the parishioners from our church that see us everywhere. 

I don't think this is a bad thing and it's something we should actually expect in ministry. There is kind of a hidden "fockerization" I've been thinking about recently that comes from some deeper convictions that I personally am trying to address. 

It has to do with our approaches to the things we watch, listen to, and participate in. I speak of this simply as it has hit me in the face personally. From time to time I have students that will ask if I saw the latest episode of "(insert your own favorite show here and it's usually something our students watch)" or if we saw a particular movie. I've been thinking about the conversations we have with the students in regard to in this instance, specific shows that we watch. When we speak into what we watch with students merely for entertainment value, are we as pastors validating the things they see cause we participate in them?

Early on in my years as a youth pastor, I used the justification of watching these shows as "youth ministry research," only to find myself wrapped up in the entertainment value and not seeing things that may counter who I am as a Kingdom Follower.

I also feel that seeing what students are watching is important because it provides an opportunity for conversations to exist about our culture and how we as Christ Follower's differ in the messages purveyed on the screen.

There are also great Christian people that live in the industry that help provide themes and messages in these shows at times that reveal messages that should be discussed with our students as well.

In our particular denominational tribe, holiness plays a high priority in how we view the world, think about things, and hopefully live out what it means to be a follower of Christ. Like many denominations it can and has gotten mixed in with legalistic tendencies in it's history, but the root of it is a life fully devoted on God. 

As we enter the Advent Season, my favorite word as a Christ Follower is "Emmanuel" meaning "God With Us." As I explore this in this particular season, I feel convicted to wrestle with what that means for
my own journey as it relates to how I approach youth ministry and students. It's a call for me to look internally at the way I live out what it means to be missional in a world sending messages that often can confuse my own understanding of Emmanuel. 

As I move closer to "God With Us" and a life of holiness, does a necessary balance exist between the two or do the two of those blur the lines and create a sense that there is no difference between the church and world? Can we learn to ask the right questions about these shows and forms of media that help us learn the kingdom we are a part of and if we are asking those questions, are we seeing a difference the lives of those that are learning?

Being "fockerized" as a pastor is great accountability to my own journey. 

As we move deeper into Advent this year, can we actually experience "Emmanuel" in new and fresh ways? 

You're loved.

Giving and Faith? A Sensitive Topic

I had one of "those" conversations a few weeks ago that got me thinking. Of of those conversations that left me with a big, "I don't know," but has got me wondering about how applicable it could be to discussions on faith integration within the family and intergenerationally. 

I've had the opportunity to preach recently on topics of intergenerational concepts within the local church and our pastor is currently plowing through a series on the idea of "Almost Christian." (you can find those sermons here)

The conversation I had was with a gentleman that I got to know this summer on an Intergenerational Mission Trip to Guatemala where 60 of us (15 of whom were youth) worked intentionally together for 2 weeks. Coming out of this came a relationship of mutual respect for the gifts we both offered to the experience. 

As we sat down, he was recalling some of the intergenerational ideas he'd been hearing and whether there was any research on whether the faith of students was in any way linked whether their parents were active tithing people. I was fascinated by this idea and really had nothing to offer. 

He then pulled out his list of scripture that has gotten him thinking. What follows are only a few of the passages of scripture that made him think there may be a relationship between the two: 

Deuteronomy 8:11-18 - To highlight a few snippets of this: "Be careful that you do not forget the LORD........." "You may say to yourself, 'My power and the strength of my hands have produced this wealth for me.' But remember the LORD your God, for it is he who gives you the ability to produce wealth, and so confirms his covenant, which he swore to our forefathers, as it is today."

Deuteronomy 26:1-11 - Yet another idea. 

His summary was: The tithe is not a gift, it is returning to God that which he has loaned to us. 

Leviticus 27:30-32 - Again a snippet, "A tithe of everything from the land, whether grain from the soil or fruit form the trees, belongs to the LORD; it is holy to the LORD." 

His summary: The tithe is a tool, designed by God to teach us to revere Him always.

As this is only a few passages from many he listed, he continued to use language of tithe as a remembrance of who we are and to whom we belong. He then proceeded to share stories from his own experience in life of his children and their journey's and how the model of tithe within their home set a standard that eventually led one of his children back to the faith. 

One of his main questions to me was, "If there is in any way that tithing firstfruits back to God provides a greater chance of a faith that sticks, how many parents would be willing to sacrifice their firstfruits back to God? 

Wow was the only place my mind went. As he was using the language of remembrance, I kept thinking about the celebration of the Eucharist we all as Followers share in on a regular basis. One of the essences of Eucharist is the idea that we remember to whom we belong. 

From my own experience, the model I received in my home was very similar. My father always talked as if everything belonged to Him and my parents faithfully gave their firstfruits back to God because it was all His to begin with. 

There was never really a doubt in my own experience that this was something I would do because there was a sense that, "This is who we are as Followers." 

So I leave this blog post with a question: "what from your experience can shed light into this topic and and do any of you know of any research that lends to the idea of Giving and a faith that sticks?

You're loved.

Still Got Me Thinking.......

For those of you that are familiar with the Strengths Finder information and establishing your Top 5 strengths, one of my 5 happens to be Learner. 

That basically means I enjoy taking in information and gaining knowledge from a particular subject and become competent in it. 

I recently came across some statistics that have blown me away and grind on my Learner personality. 

"58% of the US adult population never reads another book after high school."

"42% of college grads never read another book."

"57% of new books aren't read to completion." 

"Most readers don't get past page 18 in a book they've purchased." 

(http://BookStatistics.com)

For someone who is a learner, I guess part of my job is to help spread the word of some great information out there to help us become a better community of humanity. So here's what I've been reading and learning lately. 

I'm currently in a fantastic book called "Think Orange" by Reggie Joiner. Reggie is the CEO of reThink and used to be on staff with Andy Stanley in Atlanta, Georgia. 

This book looks into the concept of combining forces to become a more effective Body of Christ together. The part that has interested me most thus far is a chapter dealing with family structures and their need for the church and the churches need to work alongside these families. There are a few suggestions that Reggie offers (though not comprehensive) that I will share and then comment on. 

#1 - What matters more than anything is that my kids have an authentic relationship with God.

On some level this is a no brainer for Followers of Jesus, yet sometimes gets lost in the competing "things" that are available to our kids; especially in North America. (I'll let you create your own list)

Joiner takes a chance by saying to us parents, "When it comes the battle for the heart, what is temporary has a way of crowding out what is eternal." As parents, one our sole responsibilities is to fight for the hearts of our children. He then goes on to say, "When it comes to trust, trusting our kids isn't nearly as important as being trustworthy to our kids."

I'll be honest, I sometimes act like I can raise my kids better than I think God can. Part of this comes in how parenting was modeled to me. In fact, I think I've benefited in great ways by how I was parented. For me to think that I can do a better job than God is ridiculous, so I've got to learn to point my kids to Jesus as we grow together and fight for their hearts. 

This often terrifies parents cause many have no idea how to fight for the hearts of their kids. I'd suggest we start being real with them. God has equipped you to be an amazing parent. He believes in you. Start having spiritual conversations in your home. Be honest with your own doubts. Let them see and hear where you struggle. It makes you more real and relatable. Don't be afraid to disagree on spiritual matters. You'll find that you'll learn a lot from one another. 

#2 - All my children need to know I will never stop pursuing them or fighting for a right relationship with them. 

This is a continuation of fighting for their hearts. Children don't need their parents to be their best friends, they already have those. Children need their parents to be parents.

Our kids are going to do things that disappoint us. They will talk back. They will participate in activities that make us cringe. The way we can fight for their hearts is by reminding them that your love will never change despite the things they do or the people they become. That's modeling an unconditional love in our homes. It must be shown in our actions and the time we spend with them. 

#3 - My personal relationship with God and with my wife affects them more than I realize. 

Our kids aren't stupid. Especially when they are teenagers they see through the things you think you're hiding from them. They are watching how you live and how it lines up with what you say. 

I know a student that has said to me, "Keegz, I'm not sure which Jesus to believe in. My mom says she follows the same Jesus that you do. You guys live two totally different lives. I'm not sure who is the real Jesus, but I'm compelled by the one you tell me that loves me."

What we believe is a reflection of how live. That is a wonderful and scary thing all at the same time. 

Our kids need to see us work out our differences in our marriages. They need to see us expressing affection and love. If we claim to follow Jesus, our actions must be a reflection of the words we say or we are at risk of confusing the message of Jesus. 

#4 - Just being together can never substitute for interacting together in a healthy way.

Sitting in the same room watching a movie together is being together. Sitting in the same sharing life, playing a game, or having conversation is interacting together. 

Each day as we sit down for dinner, as a family we ask 4 questions: What was your high? What was low? Where did you see God at work today? What mistake did you make today? I'd like to say I thought of this, but I stole it from a friend. My 4 year old looks forward to this every night and it gives us a chance to share about day and yet be free to share the areas of our lives we make mistakes. 

#5 - A mother and father are not the only adult influences my children need. 

We all probably can do this better. In a world teaching us to live in fear and be skeptical of everyone, I've discovered that most people are wonderful. It's the few in the world that aren't that the media portrays and teaches us to be fearful of. 

I've got to trust other adults in the lives of my kids to help shape and form them and fight for their hearts as well. This is where the church can step up. Chap Clark says we need 5 adults for every student out there to help increase their chances of staying in the church when they graduate. 

I need to trust the community I am a part of do that for me and also be available to be that for others who have kids that need me. Last time I checked the body of Christ was exactly that, the Body. 

Last quote from Joiner, "What I give to my children or what I do for my children is not as important as what I leave them." 

You're loved.

A Story Worth Telling

A Story Worth Telling 

I’m a narrative guy. I think in narrative. I often respond in narrative. I teach in narrative. I look to see how someone else’s narrative helps to shape my own. I obviously think this is why the idea of the Story of God is so intriguing to my own story.

On Wednesday Nights in our student ministry with the high school students we have begun a process call “Storying.” It comes from a book I’m currently reading called Shaped By the Story by Michael Novelli. He also has a website you can check out at www.echothestory.com.

The basic premise is that most people have a grasp on the stories of the Bible or have heard the stories of the Bible at some point in their lives. What is being discovered is that while a lot of people know the Bible Stories as separate stories, they don’t recognize how those stories contribute to the larger Story of God.

Storying is the process of reading these stories in chronological order and creating an experience where students can interact with the stories and begin to see how they weave within the Story of God. There is then opportunity to invite the students to connect that story with their own story and how it shapes their living.

We’re only a couple weeks into this, but there seems to be a new curiosity and energy amongst the students. It’s quite exciting!

One compelling thing I’ve been reading is realizing how the changes in communication affect how we learn and receive information.

According to Novelli and his research on Richard Jensen’s book Orality and the Post-Literate West, there have been 3 main communication eras over time: Oral, Print, and Digital.

The oral communication is what we’ve seen for a long time. Information was passed down through events and stories and that is how people were kept informed. People were taught to think in metaphors.

The print era saw life in linear, analytical, and logical means.  Words and ideas were created through what was read and carried a sort of individualistic application. The inventing of the printing press obviously put this era on the map and significantly changed our ways of receiving communication and the speed in which it is received.

The last era, and the one we’re transitioning into on a more permanent basis is digital communication. Novelli would say that we are currently living in both print and digital, but will experience this transition.

For instance, I had a chat with a student recently that said their kids will probably never know what a textbook is because most students will be receiving information through some means of digital communication such as an iPad, Kindle, Nook, or other form of digital transformation of information.

Yet another way to see this is through the amount of information received. I would guess that many people who lived during WWII would say that they heard about the “Battle of the Bulge” a few weeks after it happened, but students can now watch a bombing on their cell phone minutes after it happened. The speed and means of information transfer is in transition.

Within youth ministry, it’s great to be a part of the challenge of watching communication take shape in how I communicate with students. I’m told I have around 12 minutes with students that they will listen to me. They need to interact and engage with what they hear.

Novelli challenges us to think about the ways we teach and recognize that some of the ways we were taught are now shifting and we need to be willing to try to new things as the church moves ahead.

I see the idea of Storying as one way to put that into practice. When a student hears The Word spoken through concept of Storying, they are being invited to participate in that and are doing in ways that wrestle with both eras of communication they are familiar with.

Watching a student recognize the important of their participation God’s Story is the greatest invitation we can offer them. Whichever way it’s communicated.

 

Tough to Swallow

 One of my newfound passions recently has to do with how to help parents take the ownership of the spiritual development of their kids. 

I think one of the tragedies of youth ministry is that the idea of a "Youth Pastor" carries a lot of baggage in expectation on the part of parents, colleagues, and the youth. That title places the person in the "Camp of Limitation" as what a youth pastor can be responsible for. 

A very high percentage of youth, when they leave home, will say the greatest influence on their faith was their parents. This is exciting and extremely terrifying news for a parent to read as most parents would say it was their friends, youth pastor, etc. They may even feel a bit relieved that their kids attend where there is a "paid, youth professional" so that's their job to grow their kids up in their salvation.

As a youth pastor enters into the realm of helping a parent be a spiritual leader to their kids, for some reason, it's difficult for the youth pastor to be looked upon to the be the person that can help. 

Below is a link to a blog I read today by a man named Scott Linscott. His blog may be hard to read as a parent, but I think a great wake up call as we think about helping our kids become deep, passionate, followers of Christ. 

http://scottlinscott.wordpress.com/2010/03/10/your-kids-an-all-star-wow-someday-hell-be-average-like-the-rest-of-us/

I know this won't be easy to read, but I'd love to dialogue with some of you that would love to be more to the development of faith for you kids. 

'Tis the Season

.  To all readers out there, get excited that October 1 is coming fast.That's my official, "It's legal to listen Christmas Music Day." Most people around my office and at home don't think it's a great idea so I'll do it on my own time until November or so. The title of this blog though refers to those students that are off to college. 

I've been working alongside Kara Powell and Brad Griffin in their Fuller Youth Institute with a cohort since the beginning of the year. As many of you know, the research they've done on Sticky Faith is quite exceptional. 

The root of a lot of their research is helping us to understand the faith of a student as they leave home and go off to college. The cohort I'm a part of has been asking some questions on what we would do differently in youth ministry if we had a clean slate. 

For me personally, it would be learning how to do intergenerational ministry more and equipping parents to see themselves as the biggest contributors to the faith development of their kids. 

The intergenerational idea is something we're toying around with in my local context. We tried to be very intentional this summer with the 63 people (children to Prime Time age) from our church that served together in Guatemala for 2 weeks. 

We're also working on something right now that we're hopeful could be significant within our local context in the coming days as well. 

I would love to learn and develop a way to help parents to challenge the faith of their students within their homes in ways that help that student make their faith their own at a younger age. This may even mean that those students start to have doubts at a younger age, but would be within the confines of a home to help rebuild it so when they graduate they are thinking, discerning followers of Christ. 

This took a hit for me personally as one of my students recently left to a significant university in California. 

This student has been within our context since I've been here. That's a little over 3 years. As she was packing her things, a few of our youth staff were there helping her. She said in their conversation, "I don't plan on going to church while I'm at college. I want to experience everything college has to offer." 

When I heard this, my heart sank. I immediately starting getting into the apparent talks over the last 3 years that have had little to no impact on her development spiritually. 

There's a message in the culture about college that seems to be more appealing to her. I understand that part of this has to do with what is modeled in the home, but I also know the youth group she attends (my youth group) may have been nothing more than a social club for her existence. 

How do we begin to change this mindset? How do we create experiences for students that are fresh so that the necessary spiritual formation is taking place? How do we help solidify that they don't need to follow the patterns of this world and be so quick to quit on the relationships we see as necessary to the next four years of their lives?

I thought I could get away and shake this, but as this year is beginning for students, it's forcing me to wrestle with what we do, how we do it, why we do it, and who we do it for. 

I know my personality well enough to know I tend to beat myself up, yet we can't stop trying. We keep going. At the end of the day we have our calling from God and that gets me to the office to keep trying.

Thankfully this student is somewhat close to us and an occasional conversation can take place, I'm hopeful the connections she's had with adults that have genuinely cared deeply for her will be connections she utilizes in the coming days as some of the biggest decisions of her life are being made. 

We don't quit. We keep going. 

You're loved.

This Is Why I Do This

For anyone that has spent anytime working as a Youth Pastor, your mindset is usually somewhere between, “Why do I do this again” and “I can’t believe I get paid to take trips like this.”

When I was in college, I was reminded on occasion by professors that doing this job wasn’t always that rewarding and you didn’t usually see the results of your efforts for many years afterwards. This caused me to question the calling God had placed on my life cause I loved my construction job that yielded quick results in no time. I could see what I had done.

I’m in my tenth year of full-time ministry and have just started to have students call and either apologize for how they were as a student, or thank me for telling that story. Yet, on occasion the results come in small packages.

Such was the case going on our trip to Guatemala this year. I was excited to go and learn alongside students, but wasn’t thrilled to miss two more weeks away from my family, meaning seeing them 6 days over a 29 day period.

On every trip like this, students hit a crisis point at some level and have to wrestle with what this experience means for his/her journey there and when they get home. One such conversation I had with a student provided a gift that reminds me why I do what I do.

This student had hit a crisis point and wanted to talk about it. As the student talked, the opportunity came for me to talk clearly about how she needed to decide which direction she wanted to go. I expressed my concern over some things in her life and told her to begin to answer, “what are you going to do about it?”

It was right after this that she asked me to keep her accountable this next year as she begins to walk the journey of what Pastor Scott means when he says, “Things change when we quit inviting God into our story and get caught up in His story.”

These are the moments that keep me going. For now, I’m living in the, “I can’t believe I get paid to do this job.” What a gift. Thanks God for calling me into this. I’m looking forward to the next gift.

You're loved.

A few pics to enjoy........